Fossil fuel, such as coal, oil and natural gas, is extensively used in many countries which cause harms to the environment. The use of alternative sources of energy, including wind and solar power, however, is being encouraged in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays,
due to
the growing number of people on the earth, there is a vast demand for fuel. Meanwhile, the majority of them are dependent on fossil fuels
like oil, gas, and coal. On the other hand
, the use of renewable fuels
such
as solar and wind power is increasing. I heartfully believe that the expanding od
alternative Correct your spelling
of
energy
sources
is a positive development, and the reasons will be discussed below.
To commence with
, one reason for substituting fossil Change preposition
apply
fuels
with renewable energy
sources
is related to their potential to reduce air pollution. In other words
, human expansion on the earth caused many drastic changes. The different kinds of non-renewable oils are using
for transferring individuals by planes, ships, and trains. It must be considered that using these facilities could lead to air contamination, and replacing them with Wrong verb form
used
more
cleaner ones could affect the air quality immensely. Change the word
apply
For instance
, based on researches
, the highest amount of CO2 is detectable in airports and train stations, which shows these places impact on the environment.
Fix the agreement mistake
research
On the other hand
, by replacing fossil oils with the
clean Correct article usage
apply
energy
sources
the environment will be saved from drastic damages
. Humankind is altering the earth negatively in his Fix the agreement mistake
damage
favor
. Specifically, the jungles are the main target of Change the spelling
favour
this
manipulation. By changing the shape of environment
, the flora and fauna will be encountered with danger. Meanwhile, removing Add an article
the environment
woods
as the main Fix the agreement mistake
wood
sources
of oxygenFix the agreement mistake
source
,
can put Remove the comma
apply
the
humans’ lives at risk, and replacing Correct article usage
apply
them
with Correct pronoun usage
it
the
green ones could save the Correct article usage
apply
life
of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
world
. Add an article
the world
For example
, based on the last
investigations, human life has removes
40 Change the verb form
removed
percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
woods
in the Fix the agreement mistake
wood
last
decade.
In a nutshell, replacement
of fossil Correct article usage
the replacement
fuels
with the
green Correct article usage
apply
energy
sources
could be useful in two ways. First,
this
alteration could improve the weather quality, and the second reason is related to the
saving lives totally.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by aksoysana on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
While you have logically structured your essay, some points could have been more clearly connected. Consider using more linking words to show the relationship between ideas.
Task Achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples and details to make your points more compelling and support your argument effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay had clear sectioning with an introduction and a conclusion. Ensure that each section fully supports your thesis statement with comprehensive reasoning.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively introduces the topic and states a clear opinion, setting the stage for your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided clear reasons for your stance on the issue, supporting the view that renewable energy is a positive development.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...