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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year.
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The bar diagram above compares both genders who are
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illiteracy
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illiterate
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 in different locations. For the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 females suffer more from
illiteracy
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. Especially in South Asia and the Arab States.
While
Linking Words
 developed countries have the lowest rates among the other. Looking at the information in more detail, 60% of
women
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 and 35% of
men
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 in South Asia have evaluated that they can not read.
In addition
Linking Words
, in Arab states shows that more than 50% of
women
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 and less than 30% of
men
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 have
illiteracy
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
 nearly 48% of
women
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 and 30% of
men
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 have
illiteracy
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 in Sub-saharan Africa.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Esat Asia has only 20% females and less than 10% of males who do not know how to read..
while
Linking Words
, in Latin
America
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America,
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 the rates between
men
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 and
women
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 were very close. 12% for females and 10% for males. As for developed countries almost non-
illiteracy
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existent
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exists
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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