Crime novels and TV series have become quite popular in recent years. What is your opinion about these crime dramas?
In
the
modern society, there is a sparked interest Correct article usage
apply
on
Change preposition
in
varies
Replace the word
various
dramas
over
the world. Especially for Rephrase
all over
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
dramas
, there are proponents of
them, making Change preposition
for
the
skyrocketing Correct pronoun usage
them
Change preposition
in popularities
popularities
. Personally, I Replace the word
popularity
align with
that these Verb problem
agree
dramas
should be wide-spread
Correct your spelling
widespread
in
the globe with clear restrictions.
Admittedly, those who advocate for the Change preposition
across
crime
stories
do have a point. To commence, it is evident that the variety of these topics are
becoming multifaceted. Change the verb form
is
For example
, significant
number of Change the article
a significant
the significant
crime
dramas
or films are permitted on the
mainstream platforms, Correct article usage
apply
such
as Netflix. The rankings are quite high also
because of their exciting plot. Sometimes, it is bloody which may be gripping to some individuals. This
lead
to the let sentiment, which is one of the factors contributing Replace the word
led
for
their Change preposition
to
popularities
.
Replace the word
popularity
However
, I still firmly hold that the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
dramas
may be negatively affect
Change the verb form
negatively affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
’s mindsets. From an entertainment standpoint, crime
is a common topic for stories
and novels. there are
Change the verb form
is
violence
content in order to grab Replace the word
violent
audience’s
attention. Correct article usage
the audience’s
Hence
, immature children
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
misbehaved
by learning through the actions in the episodes. Wrong verb form
misbehave
This
may result in the growing of young criminals in the real world. For instance
, they will relying
on violence to due with issues which bother them. Change the verb form
rely
be relying
Therefore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
dramas
may in
direct contradiction to Add a missing verb
be in
prevailing
the education of Verb problem
apply
children
for the correct form of actions
.
Fix the agreement mistake
action
Furthermore
, while
there is existing
monitoring system of Add an article
an existing
crime
stories
, it is still lacking a comprehensive regulation on avoiding
Verb problem
preventing
children
from watching those dramas
. For that reason, through wide
range of studies and procedures, the government should set an age limit with verification to allow only adults can enjoy these Add an article
a wide
the wide
crime
TV series. Nevertheless
, the punishment for the violators plays a pivotal role in protecting the kids, which should be implemented in the communities.
In conclusion, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
dramas
remain a contentious issues
in modern society, it is essential to recognize the importance Correct the article-noun agreement
a contentious issue
contentious issues
for
policies to keep Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
from those novels. Ultimately, those adults can enjoy these stories
without worrying about the misbehavior
of their Change the spelling
misbehaviour
offsprings
.Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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task achievement
Your essay discusses both the popularity and the potential negative impact of crime dramas, which shows a good understanding of the topic. However, your supporting arguments could be more comprehensive. Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Structuring your essay with clear paragraphs aids the reader's understanding, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While you have a clear introduction and conclusion, ensure that your main points are consistently supported throughout your body paragraphs. Substantiating your arguments with concrete examples would add depth to your essay.
introduction and conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your arguments.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a thoughtful reflection on both the positive and negative aspects of crime dramas, addressing key concerns.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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