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Writing Samples
Band 5

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amounts #money #adult #life #parents
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Young individuals raised in a poor
evironment
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environment
 are more capable
to handle
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of handling
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 issues of adulthood than
kids
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 raised by rich caregivers. In my opinion,
youngsters
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 from poor financial backgrounds are more mature and emotionally stable than those
that
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who
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 are well-off.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I wish to agree with the above-mentioned notion.
To begin
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 with, deprived youth exhibit high levels of maturity.
According to
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 my observations, in low-income
households
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households,
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 both caretakers tend to work
inorder
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in order
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 to sufficiently provide, and
youngsters
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 from these households are self-reliant
such
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 as returning home alone from school, preparing meals,looking after younger siblings and even cleaning the house
,
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apply
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while
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 managing schoolwork. To illustrate, an interview was conducted by BBC in 2015 with a group of young individuals from poor and rich neighbourhoods.
As a result
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, underprivileged
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kids
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kids'
kid's
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 answers were 60% more mature than privileged
kids
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.
Hence
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, it is evident that these situations
nuture
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nurture
 them to act wiser.
In addition
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 to that, impoverished minors have a more stable control of emotions. Several obstacles
such
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 as violence, bullying and heavy criticism have to be faced at younger
age
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ages
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due to
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 poverty, and these
youngsters
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 overcome them thanks to strong parental support. Indigent
parents
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 emotionally back their
kids
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, teaching them to face their problems and stay strong
instead
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solving
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of solving
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it
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them
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 for them like affluent
parents
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 do.
For example
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,
according to
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a
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apply
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research carried out by
reowned
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renowned
child-psychologyist
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child-psychologist
Dr.
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Dr
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 Henry Richmond, around 75% of his patients
that
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who
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 showed signs of depression and anxiety came from a financially secure background. As
such
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, I firmly believe that struggling
kids
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 are
pyschologically
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psychologically
 strong. In conclusion, underprivileged
youngsters
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 where both
parents
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 work are independent, unaccompanied at home, and are able to get past several difficulties encountered
due to
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 firm parental backing. In
this
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 light, the writer is in agreement with the notion children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy
parents
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lithurshan10 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more varied examples to support your points. While the examples provided are relevant, additional evidence or perspectives could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sentences are structurally sound and free of minor grammatical inaccuracies. Careful proofreading can help achieve this goal.
coherence cohesion
Clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
task achievement
You identified key factors that contribute to preparedness for adulthood, focusing on maturity and emotional stability, which are well-chosen criteria.
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