IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that animals can be used in any way for the benefit of humans. Others say that exploiting animals for human purposes is not acceptable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are some who believe that
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
animals
Use synonyms
 for human targets is not appropriate and should be banned, I completely disagree with them because
experiments
Use synonyms
 on
animals
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 may maintain human health and prevent many diseases as
wel
Correct your spelling
well
 as
prolonge
Correct your spelling
prolong
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 lives. Opponents of exploiting
animals
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 highlight that
animals
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 deserve their own lives without suffering and dying for human needs. These creatures already have paid for the neighbourhood with people.
For instance
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 were deprived of habitats and food chains were
destroyd
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destroyed
, so, every year
near to
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nearly
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 50 species have vanished.
In addition
Linking Words
,
animals
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 feel pain, and nobody can help them in lite of their voiceless. It is
proven
Correct article usage
a proven
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 fact, that scientists do not
use
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 painkillers in
experiments
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 on
animals
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, so rats and
rabits
Correct your spelling
rabbits
 go through terrible
pains
Fix the agreement mistake
pain
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.
On the other hand
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,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
animals
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 may
rescue
Verb problem
save
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 many human lives.
This
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 is because for testing drags on people, medicines must be
well-prepaired
Correct your spelling
well-prepared
 and safe, which can take
long
Add an article
a long
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 period of time. Alternatively, raw medical inventions may be injected in rats, significantly decreasing
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 time
on
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for
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creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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medicaments
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of medicaments
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. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 example, the effective vaccine against coronavirus was created so fast because scientists
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 mice as the objects for trying
hundreds
Add the preposition
hundreds of
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 variants of vaccines before they found
a
Correct article usage
the
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 correct one. In conclusion, I firmly believe that scientists may
use
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animals
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 in their
experiments
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 because it has many benefits
such
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 as
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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new
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of new
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 remedies and decreasing of time spent on
testind
Correct your spelling
testing
drags
Correct your spelling
drugs
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 before it will be ready.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to ameliorate the concerns of unethical usage of
enimals
Correct your spelling
animals
,
personel
Correct your spelling
personnel
 in laboratories may
use
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 harmless medicaments in
experiments
Use synonyms
 and broadly give painkillers.

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task achievement
Ensure that all your points are fully elaborated on. There are some spots where further explanation would strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Try to maintain a formal tone throughout the essay. Avoid using informal language like 'drags' instead of 'drugs.'
coherence cohesion
Despite some spelling errors, your essay is well organized. Work on those minor spelling mistakes for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The use of examples related to vaccines and laboratories was relevant and made the argument more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instrumental
  • ethical considerations
  • regulatory frameworks
  • minimize suffering
  • animal welfare
  • conservation programs
  • wildlife sanctuaries
  • exploitation
  • tourism-related activities
  • cultural benefits
  • educational benefits
  • economic benefits
  • physical and mental health
  • plant-based diets
  • synthetic materials
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