Throughout history, people have dreamed about a perfect society. But they have not agreed what a perfect society looks like. What do you think is the most important element of an ideal society? How people work to achieve an ideal society?
The
Correct article usage
People
people
throughout the
history dreamed and searchedCorrect article usage
apply
about
a perfect Change preposition
for
society
, however
they Add a comma
however,
do
not Wrong verb form
did
reached
Change the verb form
reach
to
what a perfect Change preposition
apply
society
means and what looks like.
First of all, a perfect society
is
a loose meaning, there is nothing called a perfect Verb problem
has
society
, everything on
the world Change preposition
in
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
a
flaws and loopholes, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
however
, it is not imposible
to achieve the means of a perfect Correct your spelling
impossible
society
. and I am here talking about the meaning of this
word, we can work at meaning
and try to make it Add an article
the meaning
in
Change preposition
apply
the
reality.
We know the most significant factor Correct article usage
apply
to build
a perfect Change preposition
in building
society
is the people
, we can not reach to
a perfect community if we can not improve Change preposition
apply
people is
Correct your spelling
people's
behavior
towards each other. in my Change the spelling
behaviour
opinion
I think the perfect and healthy Add a comma
opinion,
society
it
depends on the Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
who live and work in this
society
, so the important element is the folk. If the community building
on compassion and cooperation Replace the word
builds
then
sure we can reach the ideal society
.
The world after the the
Correct article usage
apply
techological
development witnessed Correct your spelling
technological
a huge changes
in Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge change
huge changes
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, the people
have to use the
technology to spread Correct article usage
apply
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
,
because I think the Remove the comma
apply
awarness
is the first step to reach to a perfect Correct your spelling
awareness
society
, If we have aware
Correct article usage
an aware
society
then
they can fix the weak side in the society
gradually.
In conclusion, a perfect society
means cohesive
and conscious community, Correct article usage
a cohesive
when
Correct word choice
where
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
support each regardless
of their color or gender. in Correct word choice
other regardless
genral
, without any discrimination, I think we Correct your spelling
general
havve
many years ahead of us to reach Correct your spelling
have
this
level.Submitted by atheer on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear understanding of a 'perfect society' and its elements, but be careful with small linguistic errors. These can sometimes obscure your meaning.
task achievement
Enhance your ideas with more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, which can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear, paragraph-based arguments that flow logically. This will help reinforce the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You provide a unique perspective on the topic by emphasizing awareness and behavior improvement as key elements to achieving a perfect society.
coherence and cohesion
You successfully included an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main ideas; they frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your notion that technology can aid in societal development is a current and relevant point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.