Throughout history, people have dreamed about a perfect society. But they have not agreed what a perfect society looks like. What do you think is the most important element of an ideal society? How people work to achieve an ideal society?

#history #people #society #element #work

The

Correct article usage

People

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people

throughout

the

Correct article usage

apply

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history dreamed and searched

about

Change preposition

for

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a perfect

society

however

Add a comma

however,

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they

Wrong verb form

did

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not

reached

Change the verb form

reach

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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what a perfect

society

means and what looks like. First of all, a perfect

society

Verb problem

has

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a loose meaning, there is nothing called a perfect

society

, everything

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show examples

the world

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

flaws and loopholes,

however

, it is not

imposible

Correct your spelling

impossible

to achieve the means of a perfect

society

. and I am here talking about the meaning of

this

word, we can work at

meaning

Add an article

the meaning

show examples

and try to make it

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reality. We know the most significant factor

to build

Change preposition

in building

show examples

a perfect

society

is the

people

, we can not reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a perfect community if we can not improve

people is

Correct your spelling

people's

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

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towards each other. in my

opinion

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opinion,

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I think the perfect and healthy

society

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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depends on the

people

who live and work in

this

society

, so the important element is the folk. If the community

building

Replace the word

builds

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on compassion and cooperation

then

sure we can reach the ideal

society

. The world after

the the

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apply

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techological

Correct your spelling

technological

development witnessed

a huge changes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a huge change

huge changes

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

, the

people

have to use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology to spread

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because I think the

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

is the first step to reach to a perfect

society

, If we have

aware

Correct article usage

an aware

show examples

society

then

they can fix the weak side in the

society

gradually. In conclusion, a perfect

society

means

cohesive

Correct article usage

a cohesive

show examples

and conscious community,

when

Correct word choice

where

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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people

support each

regardless

Correct word choice

other regardless

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of their color or gender. in

genral

Correct your spelling

general

, without any discrimination, I think we

havve

Correct your spelling

have

many years ahead of us to reach

this

level.

Submitted by atheer on Tue Oct 29 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear understanding of a 'perfect society' and its elements, but be careful with small linguistic errors. These can sometimes obscure your meaning.

task achievement

Enhance your ideas with more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly, which can strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Organize your ideas into clear, paragraph-based arguments that flow logically. This will help reinforce the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

You provide a unique perspective on the topic by emphasizing awareness and behavior improvement as key elements to achieving a perfect society.

coherence and cohesion

You successfully included an introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main ideas; they frame your essay effectively.

task achievement

Your notion that technology can aid in societal development is a current and relevant point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Throughout history, people have dreamed about a perfect society. But they have not agreed what a perfect society looks like. What do you think is the most important element of an ideal society? How people work to achieve an ideal society?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people think that robots are important for humankind's future development. Others think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most people in the world have to work to earn a living. However, many people work only for the financial gain that it involves, and not for any other rewards that a job can offer. What do you think the main consideration when deciding what job to take should be?

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?