There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagre?
For a few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
technology
has witnessed significant progresses
and eventually humans' lives greatly have Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
devepoled
. I partly agree with Correct your spelling
developed
statement
, because now Correct determiner usage
this statement
technology
threatens people's employment ratio as a result
of huge improvements, although
it has eased lifestyles and people do not need to spend hours on a job anymore.
For over half
Add an article
a half
century
, Correct article usage
a century
human-beings
have started to get used to Correct your spelling
human beings
technology
and it has impacted considerably such
as invention
of smartphones, Add an article
the invention
computers
, so today it is impossible to dream without advanced Correct word choice
and computers
technology
. For example
, a century ago everyone used to utilise papers on
workplaces, Change preposition
in
archives
and take ages to look for any documents among a wide range of papers. But nowadays, everything is backed up Correct word choice
and archives
to
Change preposition
by
electronical
devices, even national secrets, and could be found out in a few minutes.
Correct your spelling
electronic
However
, in the
recent Correct article usage
apply
years
the share of unemployment has been raised, Add a comma
years,
due to
considerable inventions of tech, like Artificial Intelligence or reinforcement of gadgets' capacity. AI has an enourmous
potential, which is estimated by scholars that it will replace more and more workers, Correct your spelling
enormous
in addition
may cause the decline of some weak companies' economies, politics
.
In conclusion, the reason why our lives are greatly impacted and noted developments is that Correct word choice
and politics
technology
has improved dramatically for more than recent decades. I partly agree that humankinds'
lifetimes are much easier, we save more time today, but it endangers the amount of people's worklessness because of big advances in Change noun form
humankind's
technology
.Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on
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task achievement
Expand on the second paragraph to more clearly highlight how these technological advancements specifically improve lives, perhaps by adding a few more specific examples or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure in some parts to ensure seamless transitions between ideas. You could make use of more linking words or phrases to maintain a clear flow of arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introductory and concluding paragraph, ensure that the introduction encompasses a very succinct thesis statement that previews your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which encapsulates the main points of the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both positive impacts and potential drawbacks of technological advancements, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, which help illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.