IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There have been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvements in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagre?

#advances #technology #decades #improvements #people #lives #disagre
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For a few
decades
Add a comma
decades,
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technology
Use synonyms
 has witnessed significant
progresses
Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
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 and eventually humans' lives greatly have
devepoled
Correct your spelling
developed
. I partly agree with
statement
Correct determiner usage
this statement
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, because now
technology
Use synonyms
 threatens people's employment ratio
as a result
Linking Words
 of huge improvements,
although
Linking Words
 it has eased lifestyles and people do not need to spend hours on a job anymore. For over
half
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a half
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century
Correct article usage
a century
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,
human-beings
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human beings
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 have started to get used to
technology
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 and it has impacted considerably
such
Linking Words
 as
invention
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the invention
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 of smartphones,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
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, so today it is impossible to dream without advanced
technology
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a century ago everyone used to utilise papers
on
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in
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 workplaces,
archives
Correct word choice
and archives
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 and take ages to look for any documents among a wide range of papers. But nowadays, everything is backed up
to
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by
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electronical
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices, even national secrets, and could be found out in a few minutes.
However
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent
years
Add a comma
years,
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 the share of unemployment has been raised,
due to
Linking Words
 considerable inventions of tech, like Artificial Intelligence or reinforcement of gadgets' capacity. AI has an
enourmous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 potential, which is estimated by scholars that it will replace more and more workers,
in addition
Linking Words
 may cause the decline of some weak companies' economies,
politics
Correct word choice
and politics
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. In conclusion, the reason why our lives are greatly impacted and noted developments is that
technology
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 has improved dramatically for more than recent decades. I partly agree that
humankinds'
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humankind's
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 lifetimes are much easier, we save more time today, but it endangers the amount of people's worklessness because of big advances in
technology
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on

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task achievement
Expand on the second paragraph to more clearly highlight how these technological advancements specifically improve lives, perhaps by adding a few more specific examples or scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure in some parts to ensure seamless transitions between ideas. You could make use of more linking words or phrases to maintain a clear flow of arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introductory and concluding paragraph, ensure that the introduction encompasses a very succinct thesis statement that previews your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which encapsulates the main points of the essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both positive impacts and potential drawbacks of technological advancements, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, which help illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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