IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

A lot of money is spent repairing old buildings. Instead of repairing these buildings, they should be knocked down and replaced with new ones. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #buildings #ones
An ancient
Correct the article-noun agreement
Ancient
show examples
places
 reflect the
history
 of nations.Old
buildings
 need a lot of
money
 to repair
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.So there are some people
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
They should be transforming it
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 new
buildings
.In my opinion,I agree with the statement because they will lose their
money
 on
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 one.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss some reasons below. To
being
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with,
History
 is
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 valuable and they should protect it.First of all,many tourists prefer to visit that kind of place.They like to discover these
buildings
 and know how they
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 built.There are many
buildings
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 very famous around the world.they considered as unique
buildings
.
For instance
,
pyramids
Correct article usage
the pyramids
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the china
show examples
china wall
Correct your spelling
China Wall
show examples
 and Evell
tower
Capitalize word
Tower
show examples
.There are many visitors
go
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
 to it from different countries.
In addition
,old
buildings
 have
money
 memories and
sotories
Correct your spelling
stories
.They teach new generations many
informations
Correct your spelling
information
 about their
history
.
they
Capitalize word
They
show examples
 are very useful to teach students their
history
 through
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
building
Replace the word
buildings
show examples
 like
castle
Fix the agreement mistake
castles
show examples
 and forts.
However
,
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
 building is beautiful but
also
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 one is more important.I think all of them
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important so the country should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
take care of both of them.
For example
,Dubai is one of the most
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amazing
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in the world.The rule of Dubai
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 a lot of
money
 to save old
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 and build many special new
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.He
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between them.they make the city special and many
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 visit it to enjoy
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ancient and new
buildings
.I believe that government and society should work together to fix old
places
.They encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism.
To sum up
,Old
places
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very important even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 need heigh
budge
Correct your spelling
budget
show examples
.They express
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the past and
history
.There
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
 successful experiences in the world and they gain a lot of
money
 through these
places
.They became
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
icon
Fix the agreement mistake
icons
show examples
 for the country.
For instance
,If anyone
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
 about Egypt ,we immediately remember
pyramids
Correct article usage
the pyramids
show examples
.I think they have
mane
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 advantages rather than disadvantages.
Submitted by mrym05411 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on clearly organizing your essay into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic. Try to aim for one main idea per paragraph.
task achievement
Try to expand on specific points with detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your response seem more comprehensive.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammar and sentence structure for readability. Some sentences may read awkwardly due to grammar misuse.
task achievement
The essay covers different viewpoints, both supporting and counterarguments, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You've successfully highlighted the cultural and historical significance of old buildings, which adds depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides several examples, such as Dubai, which illustrate the points made about balancing old and new buildings.

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