In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. -> topic: traffic, transport Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, some believe that
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
amount of money should be spent on building brand new railway lines for fast
trains
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
cities,
while
others are of the opinion that current public transport ought to be upgraded. In my view, creating opportunities for fast
trains
has more potential
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to increase the budget of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
in the next decades. Faster transportation between cities will bring
eases
Correct subject-verb agreement
ease
show examples
to people's lives, so that they arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
destination,
in addition
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
will experience huge attracts of tourists in the future.
And visitors
Correct word choice
Visitors
show examples
undoubtedly appreciate
this
system
, so the
territories
Fix the agreement mistake
territory
show examples
economy
will rise dramatically.
For example
, in
Japan
Add a comma
Japan,
show examples
there are fast
trains
within the country for a reasonable price, and people manage to travel to the other cities soonly and
Correct article usage
the japanese
show examples
japanese
Change the capitalization
Japanese
show examples
economy
is the top raking one in the world
due to
these lines.
However
,
existing
Add an article
the existing
show examples
transportation
system
has to be developed in order to reach
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
and more villages. In Cracow the current
system
has been advanced for 15 years, now it has more access to every corner of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
Personally, in some nations like
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
France
Correct word choice
and France
show examples
, there had better be set up new fast
trains
' railroad stations. Because
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
faces difficulties
while
transporting in the big countries,
moreover
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
will witness significant growth in the future by the number of customers it will attract. In conclusion, in a few regions, people think that spending money on founding new railroad lines is essential,
whereas
others believe advancing
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
transportation
system
is more important. In my view, establishing new railroad tracks for faster transport
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
lots of possibilities in order to make progress in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
.
Submitted by novruzluahmed2007 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion and provides a personal opinion. However, ensure the examples and explanations are as detailed and clear as possible to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas to enhance flow. Some sentences should be connected more directly to the previous or subsequent arguments.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the conflicting views and states your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You provide examples like Japan's rail system, which gives strength to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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