IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

#people #students #gap #year
It is often argued whether students should take a
year
 off after graduating
Change preposition
from schools
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
while
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 concur that
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
 has significant benefits for students,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly assert that
this
 has adverse effects on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 academic
achiements
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
. in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will elucidate both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of taking
gap
Add an article
a gap
show examples
year
 One of the most obvious benefits of taking a
year
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 is that it ensures
stdents
Correct your spelling
students
 expand their knowledge.
in other words
, youngsters are able to travel around the world, allowing them to discover new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
as well as
 taste local cuisine.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example, youngsters can visit Turkey where they can witness the diversity of culture .
moreover
thet
Correct your spelling
they
 can eat local
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
show examples
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 young individuals can broaden their horizons.
Therefore
, taking a gap
year
 seems to be beneficial to some extent
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction and ensure it's consistent throughout. Currently, your position on gap years is somewhat ambiguous.
coherence cohesion
End the essay with a clear conclusion summarizing the main points. This will strengthen your argument and provide closure.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples to fully capture both the positive and negative aspects of taking a gap year.
task achievement
You presented a clear main idea in your body paragraph, discussing the cultural benefits of taking a gap year with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction and one body paragraph, which is a good start for laying out arguments.
coherence cohesion
You've attempted to elaborate on the advantages of a gap year, providing a specific travel example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!