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Band 2

some people think that students should take gap year to what extent do you agree?

#people #students #gap #year
It is often argued whether students should take a
year
 off after graduating
Change preposition
from schools
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schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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.
while
i
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I
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 concur that
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
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year
 has significant benefits for students,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 firmly assert that
this
 has adverse effects on
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 academic
achiements
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
. in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will elucidate both
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and drawbacks of taking
gap
Add an article
a gap
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year
 One of the most obvious benefits of taking a
year
of
Replace the word
off
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 is that it ensures
stdents
Correct your spelling
students
 expand their knowledge.
in other words
, youngsters are able to travel around the world, allowing them to discover new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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as well as
 taste local cuisine.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 example, youngsters can visit Turkey where they can witness the diversity of culture .
moreover
thet
Correct your spelling
they
 can eat local
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
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.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 young individuals can broaden their horizons.
Therefore
, taking a gap
year
 seems to be beneficial to some extent
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction and ensure it's consistent throughout. Currently, your position on gap years is somewhat ambiguous.
coherence cohesion
End the essay with a clear conclusion summarizing the main points. This will strengthen your argument and provide closure.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples to fully capture both the positive and negative aspects of taking a gap year.
task achievement
You presented a clear main idea in your body paragraph, discussing the cultural benefits of taking a gap year with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction and one body paragraph, which is a good start for laying out arguments.
coherence cohesion
You've attempted to elaborate on the advantages of a gap year, providing a specific travel example.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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