In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
More and more
people
tend to hire a fitness trainer to help them to get a better shape and create a
individual plan of training sessions. Change the article
an
This
essay answers what are the reasons of
Change preposition
for
such
trend
and why Correct article usage
a trend
this
could be considered as
positive development.
First of all, Correct your spelling
a
on
of the reasons why personal coaches become so popular, is that more Correct your spelling
one
people
try to stick to a healthy lifestyle. They look for a different ways
to achieve it and Correct the article-noun agreement
different ways
a different way
the
working with a trainer Correct article usage
apply
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
on one
is one of the approaches. Correct your spelling
one-on-one
For
example
the recent survey made by National Sports Magazine shows that the Add a comma
example,
percent
of citizens who answered that they work out at least once in Replace the word
percentage
week
Add an article
a week
,
increased from 30% in 2020 to 63% in 2024. Remove the comma
apply
This
result indicates the growing number of people
who care about their health. Additionally
, the spreading of social media make
it easier for fitness trainers to attract new clients by their unique programmes or by providing Change the verb form
makes
successfull
cases. It could be proved by the Correct your spelling
successful
amount
of positions that are published by recruiting agencies and have required experience in fitness advertisement in their description.
Change the quantifier
number
Such
growing
of personal trainers' popularity could be considered Replace the word
growth
as
positive Correct your spelling
a
developement
. Not only because it shows that more Correct your spelling
development
people
are involved into
various Change preposition
in
sport
activities, but Change the noun form
sports
additionaly
because of the advantages of Correct your spelling
additionally
this
approach. The coach that works individually with its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
cusomer
can provide Correct your spelling
customer
customers
and
individual plan for training to get better results and keep them in the way that better fits Correct your spelling
an
particular
person. Add an article
the particular
a particular
Moreover
, a lot of people
abandon their endeavors
because of Change the spelling
endeavours
lack
of motivation or Correct article usage
a lack
absense
of progress, which could be handled by the trainer who could encourage, push or support if needed in different situations.
To summarize, the benefits of individual training sessions Correct your spelling
absence
sense
enforce
by the reasons which make them more and more popular could be considered as a beneficial trend for Wrong verb form
enforced
people
and society, because it helps to stay healthy.Submitted by batashevge on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using more transitional phrases between paragraphs. This can help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
Task Response
Ensure each main point is thoroughly developed and supported with examples or explanations to maximize clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the readability of your essay by breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones, ensuring that each idea is expressed clearly.
Task Response
Stay focused on the main question in the introduction and conclusion to ensure a balanced and complete response. Restate the main question and your stance more clearly.
Task Response
The essay outlines the reasons for hiring personal trainers, like the desire for a healthy lifestyle and the influence of social media. These are relevant and well-supported points.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion and introduction are clearly presented, guiding the reader from the topic introduction through to a summative closing.
Task Response
You effectively use statistics and examples, such as the survey from the National Sports Magazine and the role of social media, to support your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is a logical progression from the introduction of the issue to the discussion of benefits, showing good overall structure.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example