Write about the following topic. Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many
artists
face the problem of having their
work
publicly evaluated.
This
evaluation is related to the price that
artists
put on their works. Most people believe that high prices for
such
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are unjustified and that the
government
should take responsibility for
this
activity.
This
is a hot topic at the moment because there are many
artists
around the world whose labour has been devalued.I agree that young
artists
and performers should be supported in their endeavours without devaluing their
work
. The
government
should only take measures to avoid
such
attitudes on the part of the public. Every artist and any creative person goes through a lot of difficulties
while
creating their
work
, they
also
put into
this
work
not only a certain meaning or idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
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but
also
financial means.
For example
, purchasing materials to create some art objects or paintings.If an artist wants to create really
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
work
, they will need quality and expensive materials.
This
is why
artists
often charge high prices for their
work
.
Therefore
, the
government
should take some measures to support
artists
and to enable them to realise themselves as creative individuals. Another reason why
artists
often sell their
work
for a high price is the amount of time and effort put into the
work
. Just like other working people, they spend their time and energy creating something.
For example
, facing a creative crisis can contribute to slowing down the
work
, perfectionism and other qualities
also
do not allow
artists
to let the
work
finish quickly enough. They may
also
forget about a healthy lifestyle
due to
sleepless nights and poor diet.The
government
should not take measures to infringe on their rights to operate, because they
work
just like other people, just in their own way. In conclusion, I would like to say that
artists
and all creative personalities are just as human as ordinary workers. They
also
invest in their development and
work
hard to get a good result, so their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
valuable. If someone does not like their
work
, it is not a reason to devalue their labour and treat them badly,
as well as
to involve the
government
in their activities.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Enhance the logical structure by making clear connections between paragraphs and strengthening transitions.
task achievement
Task Response: Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points for a higher relevance score.
task achievement
Task Response: Develop the argument more comprehensively, especially regarding the role of the government.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights the difficulties artists face and why they might charge high prices for their work.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the stage for discussion, and the conclusion succinctly wraps up the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay acknowledges the complexity of artistic valuation and the challenges faced by artists.
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