Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason

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Nowadays, many

undividuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

allocate

majority

Add an article

the majority

show examples

of their

time

to their

work

and do not have sufficient free

time

. Despite long

time

working could cause some advantages, its drawbacks outweigh.

This

essay

discuss

Change the verb form

discusses

show examples

positive and negative points and will provide comprehensive reasons. First of all, it is considered that the long

time

working can increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity. people and businesses which can

work

for longer

hours

can have more

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

For instance

, factories which have two shifts of working are able to be more productive.

Also

certain

Change the article

a certain

the certain

show examples

number of

eployees

Correct your spelling

employees

and businesses can earn more

mony

Correct your spelling

money

when they

work

for more

hours

. Workforces could get extra

salery

Correct your spelling

salary

sales

due to

their extra

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and businesses can earn more money when they are open for longer

hours

For example

, some stores which are open during the night can earn more money and their workforces can get extra

salery

Correct your spelling

salary

if they

work

for extra

hours

. Despite these

advantages

Add a comma

advantages,

show examples

there are numerous setbacks. Individuals working for many

hours

can not dedicate enough

time

to their family and friends,

therefore

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

communication circle would be constrained.

This

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

severe

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

for their personal lives.

For instance

, people who can not participate in family reunions or

celeberations

Correct your spelling

celebrations

celebration

due to

the long

time

working

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

might lose their connection which

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

them to

isolarion

Correct your spelling

isolation

Furtheremore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, individuals who can not devote enough

time

for

Change preposition

show examples

certain

leasure

Correct your spelling

leisure

activiteies

Correct your spelling

activities

such

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and nature exploring, are in danger of mental

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

such

depresion

Correct your spelling

depression

. To illustrate, some research shows that outdoor activities can reduce the risk of

depresion

Correct your spelling

depression

in people. In conclusion, despite there

exist

Verb problem

being

show examples

some advantages

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

working for long

hours

, the drawbacks overshadow them and might cause severe problems

such

lomeliness

Correct your spelling

loneliness

caused by lack of

adiquate

Correct your spelling

adequate

communication and

mantal

Correct your spelling

mental

manual

disease

due to

lack of enough outdoor activities.

Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on Tue Oct 29 2024

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task achievement

While the essay adequately addresses the question and provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages, some points could be explained in more depth to enhance clarity and comprehension.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to certain language inaccuracies and typos, such as 'undividuals' instead of 'individuals,' 'eployees' instead of 'employees,' and 'adiquate' instead of 'adequate.' Correcting these will improve overall readability.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids the reader in understanding the writer's standpoint effectively.

task achievement

There are relevant examples provided, such as the example of stores being open at night, which helps in illustrating the points made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that universities students should specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some think it is a good way to spend, while others think there are other better options. Discuss both views and give your opinion.