IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

*More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution*

#*more #people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars #solution*
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, the
problem
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 of individuals
relies
Wrong verb form
relying
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 on private
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 as transportation which
always
Add a missing verb
has always
show examples
 been debatable now they become controversial in recent times. Some
people
Use synonyms
 concur that increasing
Correct article usage
the usuage
show examples
usuage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of
cars
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indirectly
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the problem
a problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
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 environment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will elaborate
more
Change preposition
in more
show examples
 detail about the negative impact of
this
Linking Words
 trend
along with
Linking Words
 remedies and
thus
Linking Words
, lead to a logical conclusion. To pinpoint
paramount
Correct article usage
the paramount
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 causation behind the usage of private
cars
Use synonyms
 is nothing but causes
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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to
Change preposition
into
show examples
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
an atmosphere
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 which affects
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
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 layers
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
. Another infamy root is
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
 in rural and urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
due to
Linking Words
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, some
people
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buying
Wrong verb form
buy
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 expensive
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 by paying monthly
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
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along with
Linking Words
 interest,
car
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 insurance and maintenance which burden
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals in terms of monthly expenses.
Thus
Linking Words
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 evident that why many
people
Use synonyms
 are opposing
ths
Correct your spelling
this
the
 notion. Steps to
deals
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with the problems are many but the most significant
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 are practical. Primarily,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 should take
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 action to increase public transport
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24/7 in urban and rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
In addition
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 to that, they should bring the law that
resisdent
Correct your spelling
residents
 in an accommodation should have more than two
cars
Use synonyms
 which helps decrease
chance
Add an article
the chance
show examples
 of using
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
car
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if the above steps
taken
Add a missing verb
are taken
show examples
 appropriately,
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 may find
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 solutions. In recapitulation,
this
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 causes
need
Correct article usage
a need
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attention
Change preposition
for attention
show examples
 and action to protect the planet from fuel
mission
Fix the agreement mistake
missions
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. it is plausible not
by enforcing
Change preposition
to enforce
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 the law.
However
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 means
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eductationg
Correct your spelling
educating
people
Use synonyms
 about the
ususge
Correct your spelling
usage
use
 of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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language
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cohesion coherence
Enhance the logical structure of the essay by clearly connecting ideas with cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph flows naturally.
task response
Provide relevant and specific examples to support the claims made in the essay, which will make the argument more persuasive.
cohesion coherence
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the prompt.
task response
The essay addresses both problems of over-reliance on cars and proposes potential solutions, fulfilling the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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