IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You have a suggestion for a park nearby where you live. Write a letter to your city’s council. In your letter include: •what your suggestion is •why you think this suggestion will improve the park •when you would like to see this suggestion in action

#suggestion #park #city’s #council #•what #•why #•when #action
Dear
Counciler
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Councillor
, I'm writing
this
 email to inform regards
about
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of
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 the need
of
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for
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 improvement in Victorica
Park
, Kitchener. I'm an international student and living in
this
 city
more
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for more
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 than two years. I frequently
to
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apply
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visit these
park
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parks
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 with my friends. I have noticed that
park
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the park
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 lost
beauty
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its beauty
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after
this
 winter. I would to like suggest
some place
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someplace
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, to bring elegance
beauty
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and beauty
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of
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to
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park
Add an article
the park
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 1. Built restroom entrance of the
park
. 2. Keep garbage
box
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boxes
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 and
keep
Verb problem
apply
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chairs in all the
corner
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corners
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 of
area
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the area
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 3. Maintenance Service I
hope
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hope to
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 implement
this
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the
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 above points,
improve
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and improve
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 the
park
.
In addition
,
i
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I
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 spoke
some
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with some
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 of
people
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the people
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 in my
communite
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community
 area, they are comfortable
these
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with these
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 suggestions. I
will
Verb problem
apply
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believe,
by
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that by
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 implementing new
chair
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chairs
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 and adding
excercise
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exercise
 equipment, older people visit these
park
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parks
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in
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apply
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daily. I'm looking
foward
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forward
 to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 the
factilites
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facilities
 of the
park
near
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in
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 the future. Thanks and Regards Dhivya Ravi
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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single idea per paragraph
Work on organizing your thoughts into separate paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea or point.
logical structure
Ensure your letter has a clear and logical beginning, middle, and end.
suitable writing tone
Use a more formal tone suitable for communication with city council members.
complete response
You identified specific improvements such as restrooms, garbage boxes, and exercise equipment.
complete response
Your letter conveys a genuine interest in enhancing the community park, which shows engagement and care.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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