IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #unemployment #rates #japan #march #report #university #lecturer #information
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The line chart above provides information about percentages of people who didn't have occupation in two countries from
March
 1993 to
March
 1999.
Overall
, as the data shows
although
initially
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 unemployment rate was much higher than Japan,
at the end
 of the period in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
question Japan surpassed
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 regarding the percentage of
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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.
While
 Both countries had
steady
Correct article usage
a steady
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 flow between
March
 1996 to
March
 1998, the chart shows dramatic changes
betweent
Correct your spelling
between
 1998 and 1999. at the beginning of the period, The
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
 unemployment rate was about 7%
however
, it experienced a downward trend and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 to nearly over 4% in the year 1999.
One
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On
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 the other hand,
Japan
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Japan's
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 percentage started at about 2.5% which
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
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 by
gradual
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a gradual
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 increase
by
Change preposition
in
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March
 1998 and
finally
 between
March
 1998 and
March
 1999 it witnessed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant rise and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 5%.
Submitted by seshat.29.m on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • steady
  • comparing and contrasting
  • significant
  • data
  • economy
  • period
  • comparison
  • decrease
  • increase
  • peak
  • trough
  • stabilize
  • recover
  • dip
  • surge
  • notable
  • bar graph
  • line graph
  • percentage
  • time frame
  • correlation
  • economic indicators
  • variable
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