IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #computer #telephone #job #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the modern technologies have been easy living for us that have showed in jobs. today many
pepole bielive
Correct your spelling
people believe
 that
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from
home
 and others do not
except
Correct your spelling
accept
show examples
this
 idea.
while
 there are some negative
conseuences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of
this
flexiblity
Correct your spelling
flexibility
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that these are outweighed by the
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
.
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 advantages of working at
home
 but many
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 do not
except
Correct your spelling
accept
show examples
this
 way working in
addiation
Correct your spelling
addition
 they say
this
 way has many
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
for instance
 between 1995-1998 FG factory
product
Replace the word
produced
show examples
 cars in
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 that decided 15% of all
employees
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 from
home
.
thus
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
cars
Correct article usage
the cars
show examples
decreses
Correct your spelling
decreased
also
 many customers
complaited
Correct your spelling
complained
completed
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
finally
 the
company
 gradually came back all of the
employees
 to
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
 area for
work
.
therefore
this
 part of
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that have many strang
exprences
Correct your spelling
experiences
 about
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
 at
home
.
on the other hand
 many
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 and
assistant
Fix the agreement mistake
assistants
show examples
 at university
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
 at
home
 can help
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
,
socaity
Correct your spelling
society
 and even
Correct article usage
the govverment
show examples
govverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
. A and M
Uiversity
Correct your spelling
University
xpremented
Correct your spelling
experimented
presented
 the most important in 1999. in
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 the university 30% of all
employees
 of FDS
company
forced
Add a missing verb
were forced
show examples
 to
work
 at
home
 for 6
mounth
Correct your spelling
month
months
 and
as a result
 they saw
surged
Wrong verb form
surge
show examples
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
%
performence
Correct your spelling
performance
 of
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.
this
 study
also
 showed customers
satisfaied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 more than
tradationally managment
Correct your spelling
traditional management
.
beacuase
Correct your spelling
Because
 of
this
 many
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
 are tending that the
employees
work
 from
home
 it has many
adventages
Correct your spelling
advantages
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 and
employees
for example
 save money and time for both and they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 more time with family.
to sum up
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at
home
 already is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to save money and time and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 the upsides can justify these drawbacks.
therefore
it is clear that
 the idea of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at
home
 can help everyone and it is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
making progress in
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 in
era
Correct determiner usage
this era
show examples
. after
Correct article usage
a through
show examples
through
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
 analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 subject, it is predicted that the positive effect of working at
home
 will always be greater than the negative effect.
Submitted by m.amin.esabat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

General
Work on grammar and spelling to avoid confusion. For instance, spell-check common words and use grammatical tools to help construct sentences accurately.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, but be sure to restate the main argument in the conclusion.
Structure and Coherence
Try to present each main point in its own paragraph, clearly linked to the thesis, to enhance structure. Consider using more signal words to show connection between ideas (e.g., however, consequently).
Support and Development
Ensure examples are relevant to the main argument and are well-integrated with explanations. Avoid overstating specific personal or hypothetical examples unless they are factual.
Content Balance
The essay contains a good attempt to balance a discussion of advantages and disadvantages, offering examples for both sides.
Example Usage
The use of historical examples portrays a thoughtful approach to supporting your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: