IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #country #food #population #import
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Manufacturing greens,like fruits or vegetables for own
citizens
Add the comma(s)
citizens,
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 is important to the government,
instead
Linking Words
 of importing from overseas. In my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,it has more advantages than drawbacks. Because,difficult
though
Change preposition
to
show examples
producing
Wrong verb form
produce
show examples
 all types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the local
people
Use synonyms
, it will be cheaper and more reliable. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting meals from abroad,every country should originate
food
Use synonyms
 themselves. It has several reasons,at the outset,if
people
Use synonyms
 eat
lcoal
Correct your spelling
local
 products,it will be cheaper. Because, getting greens or
meat
Use synonyms
 from
near
Correct your spelling
nearby
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 farms, shop directors
s
Change preposition
apply
show examples
should not pay more for a delivery.
While
Linking Words
,if that
meat
Use synonyms
 or fruit comes from
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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,they should deliver by plane,train or ship and
as a result
Linking Words
 it will be much more expensive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, manufacturing candies,fruits or even
meat
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 trust to the
people
Use synonyms
. The reason is that if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 sees
producing
Verb problem
apply
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one type of
food
Use synonyms
,like
a
Remove the article
apply
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candy or apples, he feels
reliablity
Correct your spelling
reliability
 to the product and he can buy it without any questions or worries.
However
Linking Words
,if he
wants
Add the particle
wants to
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 buy foreign
meat
Use synonyms
 or
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
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,he cannot realise
steps
Correct article usage
the steps
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 of
producting
Correct your spelling
producing
production
 and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 he feels
worring
Correct your spelling
worrying
working
worried
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, if the government
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 give cheaper and more reliable
food
Use synonyms
 to its
people
Use synonyms
,
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 farms should originate to the local shops.
However
Linking Words
, any country can
product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 all types of meals.Because,wheater conditions,geographical location,budget or other things can create problems to produce.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wheater is
important
Add an article
an important
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 step,when
people
Use synonyms
 want
grow
Add the particle
to grow
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
to grow
Change the verb form
growing
show examples
 wheat needs hot weather,but
countries
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 located in the north cannot afford it.
Additionally
Linking Words
,some
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot grow
as
Change preposition
according
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 a their location. Because,all products cannot originate in one location,like a mountains or seas.
For example
Linking Words
,many
Europian
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 cannot
fishing
Change the verb form
fish
be fishing
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 from
ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
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or
Correct word choice
and
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 Arabic
countries
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
are
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 not able to grow vegetables,because of their soil. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it may
seems
Change the verb form
seem
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unbeliveble
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
,
countries
Use synonyms
 should produce
meat
Use synonyms
,vegetables,fruits and others
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
,who live there.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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clarity
To improve clarity in your essay, work on sentence structure and grammar. This will help express your ideas more precisely.
support
Consider providing more detailed examples to better illustrate your points. Examples can help clarify your arguments and make them more persuasive.
structure
Ensure that your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your stance and summarize the key points discussed.
task response
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion on whether countries should produce all of their food locally.
support
You have included a variety of reasons to support your argument, mentioning both economic and trust-related factors.
structure
Your conclusion attempts to summarize the points made in the essay, which is essential in a structured piece of writing.
What to do next:
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