IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You recently started commuting to work by bicycle and discovered that there is a problem with bicycle parking near the building where you work. Write a letter to the building manager. In your letter, •explain the reason for using a  bicycle to commute •mention what problems you have encountered with parking •what you recommend to solve the problems

#work #bicycle #manager #•explain #reason #•mention #•what
Dear Manager, I am writing with regard to that because
heavy
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of heavy
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 traffic
while
 I go back home from work, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 several weeks that I
prefere
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prefer
 to use my
bicke
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bike
 rather than my own car, and there is not enough parking space. Recently I started to
attending in
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attend
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 an online computer programming course and it is even days at 18:00 o'clock. If I use my private car to transport between
wark
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work
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 and home, it takes at least 2
houres
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hours
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 and I miss first 30 minutes of my class. so I have to
comute
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commute
 by bicycle. There is not enough space and I have to park in front of the cars.
Last
 week
a
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apply
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care
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car
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hitted
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hit
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 my
bicke
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bike
back
 and I had to pay $100 to
repaire
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repair
 it. I would like to request, If it is possible for you
develop
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to develop
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 the bicycle parking or provide
addition
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additional
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 space to prevent
such
acasions
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occasions
actions
. I would
appriciate
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appreciate
if
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it if
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 you
do
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did
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this
favore
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favour
. I look forward to hearing your response. Yours faithfully, J.Khammar
Submitted by jingelbing on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using clearer transitions between different sections of your letter and organizing your ideas into more distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure you proofread your letter for grammatical and spelling mistakes. Improving accuracy will enhance the overall quality.
task achievement
The letter covers all the necessary points: reason for cycling, problems encountered, and a recommendation for improvement.
task achievement
The tone of the letter remains polite and formal throughout, suited for a letter to a building manager.
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