IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. nb

#people #scale #nb
Some people prefer to solve environmental
problems
 on a global
scale
 but other people think that it is better to deal
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 country on their own. Of course, it is better for each country to solve its own
problems
, but if it is a peaceful and serious
problem
, it is unlikely that it will be solved by itself. I believe that solving environmental
problems
 on a global
scale
 is better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 can be easily solved and unity among
countries
 increases. On the one hand, solving environmental
problems
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
seems easy for each country to solve for itself. But it will be
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
harder and
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 a lot of
time
 to solve
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
problems
.
For example
: at the beginning of summer, the western region of Kazakhstan was flooded. Kazakhstan itself would have been able to solve that
problem
, but of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 it would have taken a very long
time
. I believe that it is not comfortable to solve.
On the other hand
, solving environmental
problems
 on a global
scale
 is the best way. By solving on a global
scale
 you can save
time
 and reduce costs.
For example
, the earthquake in Turkey caused damage.
However
,
neighboring
Change the spelling
neighbouring
show examples
countries
 provided a lot of help, provided as much assistance as they could, and reduced their costs in
time
 to resolve the
problem
. I believe that solving environmental
problems
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a global
scale
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 and useful for
countries
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 neighboring
countries
 and global
countries
 are the first to help in every difficult
problem
. It is predicted that if
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every environmental
problems
Change to a singular noun
problem
show examples
will help
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 global
countries
, there
is
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 no
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Try to divide your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct point or theme. Doing so will improve the logical structure and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure that your introduction clearly presents the two views and your opinion, and the conclusion echoes these ideas succinctly and effectively.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with specific and detailed examples. Make sure to elaborate on your examples to make the connection to your argument clearer.
task achievement
Address both views in more detail, discussing each with equal weight, and make sure to clearly state and support your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express your ideas more clearly and precisely to convey your message without ambiguity.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant specific examples that illustrate your points more clearly and relate them closely to the main argument or idea you are discussing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion that favors solving environmental problems globally.
supported main points
The reference to a real-world example, such as the earthquake in Turkey, indicates an effort to provide practical examples to support the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, setting up the issue and closing it, which helps frame the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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