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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph reflects the number of
members
Use synonyms
 in different activities of a social centre in Melbourne, Australia, from 2000 to 2020 recorded every 5 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 over the twenty years, the film
club
Use synonyms
 has always been the most popular choice and the quantity of its
members
Use synonyms
 is much higher than that of any other activities.
While
Linking Words
 the group for musical performances has constantly been among the least popular ones. The
overall
Linking Words
 trends of
members
Use synonyms
 of the film
club
Use synonyms
 and martial arts
club
Use synonyms
 are relatively stable compared to the other three groups. Since the year 2000, the number of participants of film
club
Use synonyms
 has been fluctuating around 65,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for practitioners of martial arts is 35.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
club
Use synonyms
 for amateur dramatics, table tennis, and musical performance have gone through distinct developments. It is noticeable that in 2000, there was no participant in musical performance.
However
Linking Words
, its
members
Use synonyms
 had been slowly increasing and almost reached 20 in the year 2020.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
club
Use synonyms
 for table tennis exhibits a rising pattern, starting from 15
members
Use synonyms
 and drastically reaching a peak of 55 in the year 2020.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the number of dramatics participants diminished from 25 in 2000 to a mere 7 in 2020.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words members, club with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • trends
  • significant increases/decreases
  • stable numbers
  • fluctuations
  • overall participation
  • comparison
  • activities
  • social centre
  • Melbourne
  • participants
  • highlight
  • report
  • graph illustrates/demonstrates
  • 20-year period
  • key features
  • main features
  • statistical data
  • variations
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