IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

More and more people claim that modern work pattern are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solution?

#people #work #pattern #source #stress
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It is a common problem that people struggle with stress which is caused by current
job
 conditions at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
this
 essay not only will introduce
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the causes, but
also
 with solutions for
this
 issue. If I want to list the main reasons for feeling uncomfortable at work in
late
Correct article usage
the late
show examples
 decade, I can name many aspects
such
 as insecure atmosphere, unstable
job
,
un equality
Correct your spelling
inequality
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 between
job
 and earning, heavy
wok
Correct your spelling
work
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 time,
high
Correct word choice
and high
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 speed at delivery. In my opinion, unhealthy communication between the boss and workers
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a main role in
this
 subject. Unseen efforts by workers and poisoned coworkers make the work
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
. The employer can make
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
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 between
load
Add an article
the load
a load
show examples
 of work and the salary, if they can not afford to pay more, they can allow employees to take part of their
job
home
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at home
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. remoting from home helped people to manage the
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 of working and
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
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 environment declining stress.
Moreover
, The employer
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 able to provide more Facilities
to
Change preposition
for
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 their worker
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
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 rest and relax. the government encourage people to develop healthy coping strategies
such
 as mindful meditation. in the end, numerous residents should allocate part of their income and time to do mindful activities and append their time to do what
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
 their stress
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them feel calm.
Submitted by t.jenab on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. This will enhance the logical flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
Your ideas could benefit from further development. Consider expanding on each point with additional details or examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both parts of the question equally: the causes and the solutions. A more balanced approach will improve the completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments. This will demonstrate your ability to develop ideas more comprehensively.
Task Achievement
You successfully identified multiple causes of stress in modern work patterns, showing your understanding of the issue.
Task Achievement
You offer feasible solutions to the problem of workplace stress, such as remote working and meditation, which contributes positively to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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