The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.

The first chart below gives information about the money spent by British parents on their children’s sports between 2008 and 2014. The second chart shows the number of children who participated in three sports in Britain over the same time period.
The illustrated charts provide the average data about the amount of money British parents have spent on
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities of their children and the proportions of popularity of certain
sport
types namely football,
athletics
and swimming in a period of six years, from 2008 to 2014. Looking at
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
overall
structure, it is readily apparent that, the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
of British families
to
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on
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities was higher each year, over the six-year period. Football came first
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
terms of popularity
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
within the given timeframe,
however
swimming and
athletics
were less
favored
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favoured
show examples
. In 2008,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
average
20
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of 20
show examples
pounds per month, from family budgets, were spent on children's
sport
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sports
show examples
hobbies,
however
Add a comma
however,
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this
amount underwent a
gradually
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gradual
show examples
rise to
aproximately30
Correct your spelling
approximately
pounds per month in the ultimate period.
While
football
sport club
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sports clubs
show examples
had approximately 8
million
British children as participants in 2008, the proportions of swimming and
athletics
accounted for about 2
million
and less than a
million
respectively. The figures for
footbal
Correct your spelling
football
remained stable for the following 6 years;
however
, the number of members for swimming nearly doubled to 4.5
million
and for
athletics
multiplied 5 times, to 5
million
.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sport, athletics, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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