IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in 2024.
#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two provided maps illustrate the
school
 buildings and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 surroundings back in 2004 and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will look after the reconstruction in 2024. Looking at an
overall
 structure, it is readily apparent that, the most significant feature after reconstruction will be a new
school
 building.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, some facilities will be replaced, and new roads are
also
 planned. The
school
 capacity was 500 students in 2004;
however
, with the addition of a third
school
 building,
this
 figure will be doubled to 1000 students. The direction and size of
path
Add an article
the path
a path
show examples
 between the
school
 buildings will be modified,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
 a new corridor between previous schools will be built.
New
Add an article
The new
show examples
school
 building is lying in the sports field's terrain, so the sports field will be
reconstucted
Correct your spelling
reconstructed
constructed
 to the right side of the main road;
also
 the second car park
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 planned,
due to
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 number of students and their parents.
According to
 the map, the location of the first car park and the main entrance will remain unchanged.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: