Some people think that qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at universities or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is suggested that fewer individuals are eager to read books nowadays.
Thus
we should utelize
the funds for something more urgent like healthcare Correct your spelling
utilize
utilise
instead
of attend
all public Change the verb form
attending
libraries
. There are several flipsides to this
point, l am personally support
that Change the verb form
am personally supported
am personally supporting
policy makers
had paid more attention to the role of Correct your spelling
policymakers
libraries
before making suv
decisions.
Admittedly, Correct your spelling
such
libraries
can bridge the gap between the highly-educated
and the under-educated. More human beings on the planet, particularly Correct your spelling
highly educated
poor
Change preposition
in poor
nation
, are Fix the agreement mistake
nations
trust
Wrong verb form
trusted
on
Change preposition
by
the
public Correct article usage
apply
libraries
. That's why, it enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhances
the
literature and education which plays an active role Correct article usage
apply
for
Change preposition
in
Add an article
a well
well informed
society. The more people read the books, the more they become Add a hyphen
well-informed
intelegent
. Correct your spelling
intelligent
In addition
, it is fair to say that fewer libraries
mean discouraging humans from libraries
. Internet is not only flexible
space Correct article usage
a flexible
to
learning but Change preposition
for
also
it is Rephrase
also aviable
aviable
24 hours a day to seek Correct your spelling
available
the
information Said young Correct article usage
apply
peoples
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
This
, in effect, leads to discourage from libraries
.
I 'd consider the point above that in deprived areas whose population are need
of more urgent Change preposition
in need
sevices
involving basic healthcare Correct your spelling
services
ansd
Correct word choice
apply
libraries
are considered the less priority as both sectors have benifits
. Correct your spelling
benefits
Libraries
can depend on literacy, education and mental health which can support public health. Increasing overall
budget for both Add an article
the overall
sector
could provide Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
the
Correct article usage
a
balenced aproach
to community needs.
In conclusion, humans in the world are dedicated Correct your spelling
balanced approach
fan
of reading at the moment. When most of them support Fix the agreement mistake
fans
use
the Add the particle
to use
urgent
Change preposition
of urgent
servises
, l Correct your spelling
services
am personally believe
that the Change the verb form
personally believes
libraries
all
countries Change preposition
in all
shouldnot
close. Correct your spelling
should not
This
is becouse
, it Correct your spelling
because
provide
education, Change the verb form
provides
literacy
and Correct word choice
and literacy
it's
aim helps us to understand the world.Correct your spelling
its
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task achievement
Your essay presents an interesting discussion on the role of libraries, but clarity and in-depth exploration of ideas need improvement. Ensure each point is sufficiently explored and related directly to the question.
coherence cohesion
There are some disjointed ideas and abrupt transitions. Consider using linking words or phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, promoting a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
Providing specific examples can strengthen your arguments. Try to include real-life instances or hypothetical situations to make points more relatable and convincing.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to address the issue of libraries versus healthcare funding, showing engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your essay and give it structure.
task achievement
You've shown an awareness of the importance of both literacy and healthcare, appreciating the balance needed between different societal needs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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