Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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The question of whether it is beneficial or unbeneficial if

health

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services are costly for ordinary

people

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sparks considerable debate among society. In my perspective, the disadvantages of increasing the

health

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services’s price

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh

than

Change preposition

apply

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the advantages. One of the paramount disadvantages of soaring

health

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care costs is especially for developing countries, the are a lot of indigent

people

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who lack access to proper

health

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services. In consequence, if the private companies only consider their prosperity which increases the cost of

health

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facilities, it impacts indigent

people

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who need more access to keep them healthy.

Moreover

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, diseases they have are likely to spread and be pandemic in nations.

In addition

Linking Words

, increasing

health

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services costs seems unfair to

people

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in developing countries, which have a long gap between wealthier

people

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and indigent

people

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. In consequence, presumably, crime will soar

in particular

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areas and it will affect

people

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who are living in that area.

However

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, it is crucial to acknowledge the potential advantages of

this

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program.

For instance

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, there are doctors and medical committees who need a make sense of salaries considering that they spend 7 years to accomplish their study in a field. To address

this

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, the government must ensure that taxes from wealthier

people

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or sponsored companies are distributed right on the target.

Furthermore

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, the transparency of distributing the budget is essential to achieving fairness in society. In conclusion,

while

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there are advantages associated with soaring the

health

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care cost, I firmly believe that the disadvantages far outweigh these concerns. Facilitating indigent

people

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with proper access to

health

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care and budget transparency can achieve the betterment of the nation.

ru.kabiru.biruThu Oct 31 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your argument is consistently clear throughout the essay. Some points could be expressed more precisely to enhance understanding.

coherence cohesion

Organize arguments in a clearer progression. Ensure each paragraph follows logically from the previous one.

task achievement

Ensure that each main point is fully explained with specific, relevant examples. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, presenting a balanced view.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively highlight the writer's main argument.

coherence cohesion

Basic logical structure is present, with distinct sections addressing different aspects of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cutting-edge technology
highly skilled professionals
patient experience
outcomes
personalized care
healthcare practitioners
competition
standards
government burden
public funds
prohibitively expensive
disparities
profitability
over-treatment
neglect
non-profitable cases
ethical concerns
financial status

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Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think we can use animals in the medical experiment for the benefits of humans, while others think this is a cruel thing, thus needing to be prohibited. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You are organising a trip to Paris, France for a group of students from England. Write to the manager of the Youth Hostel Association in Paris. In your letter, explain when you want to visit Paris how long you will stay how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require

More and more children are accessing the Internet unsupervised and at a younger age. This can sometimes put them at risk. What problems do you think parents face when dealing with their children using the Internet?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?