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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below is of the town of Canterbury. A new school (S) is planned for the area. The map shows two possible sites for the school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#town #canterbury #school #area #two #sites #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The map
provide
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provides
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 information about the two proposed sites for
new
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a new
the new
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 school in Canterbury.
Overall
, by having a cursory glance
on
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at
show examples
 the map , it can be clearly seen that the most significant
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
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 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
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site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
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 is the proximity to the
town
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and university area.It is noticeable that S2 would be more accessible
comparing
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compared
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 with S1. To
begain
Correct your spelling
begin
 with S1 ,which
locate
Wrong verb form
is located
show examples
at
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in
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 the northeast of
town
. It is outside the
town
 Centre.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 it is far away from
university
Correct article usage
the university
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 , but it
has been
Wrong verb form
is
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 near the housing area.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 a large
town
 called Sturry can be reached
in
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apply
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about 5 km from S1 . It
contain
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contains
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 around 7000
of
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apply
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individuals. Moving to S2 which
locate
Wrong verb form
is located
show examples
at
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in
show examples
south
Add an article
the south
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 direction . It has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 location in
middle
Add an article
the middle
show examples
 of
town
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the town
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and housing area , so it would be
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to reach
in
Correct your spelling
it
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 easily way . It has
small
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a small
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town
 that
contain
Change the verb form
contains
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 around 4.500
of
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apply
show examples
people and can be reached in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 time .
Submitted by wazraali1994 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • residential
  • accessibility
  • proximity
  • town centre
  • site
  • amenities
  • proposed development
  • population distribution
  • environmental impact
  • traffic congestion
  • community needs
  • educational facilities
  • public transport
  • recreational areas
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