The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

#people #risk #health #growth #society

In recent years, an increasing number of

people

face disease and severe health issues because of the growing number of obese individuals.

This

essay will

discus

Correct your spelling

discuss

show examples

how overconsumption of

fast-food

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fast food

show examples

and

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, and the most suitable solutions are

plant-based

Correct article usage

a plant-based

show examples

diet and devoting time to exercise. The main

cause

of obesity is

overconsumption

Add an article

the overconsumption

show examples

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

which

harmful

Add a missing verb

is harmful

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because

Remove the comma

apply

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the

manority

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majority

minority

of them are

included

Verb problem

apply

show examples

saturated fat. The consequences of consuming

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

in moderation might not be considerable,

however

, eating

fast-food

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fast food

show examples

every day could

cause

obesity.

For example

, a pizza

have

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has

show examples

considerable

Add an article

a considerable

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amount of

calory

Replace the word

calories

show examples

and if

people

eat pizza

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

,they would exceed their daily intake calory.

Furthermore

, another reason is the sedentary lifestyle which is common

nowaday

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nowadays

show examples

Advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

Advancements

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in technology have caused remote working and online shopping which have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

required

people

to sit for considerable hours.

This

cause

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causes

show examples

insufficient

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

activity which leads

people

obesety

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obesity

For instance

, some individuals order their needs online

instead

of going to the shopping

centers

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centres

show examples

therefore

, their

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

activities are limited. To tackle the problem of consuming too much

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

people

should eat domestic dishes and consider low-carb diets in order to reduce the amount of

carbohidrate

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carbohydrate

carbohydrates

in their food. Replacing healthy food

insted

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instead

of those with saturated fat

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

could

limite

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limit

the risk of obesity.

Moreover

, to address the issue of

imited

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limited

physicall

Correct your spelling

physical

activity, individuals should allocate time for exercise. They can consider enrolling

Change preposition

show examples

the gym or

exercise

Wrong verb form

exercising

show examples

home

. To illustrate, there are many online classes for exercising at

home

that

people

can

enroll

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enrol

show examples

and

Change preposition

in and

show examples

be physically active without leaving

home

. In conclusion,

increasing

Correct article usage

the increasing

show examples

number of

overwieght individials

Correct your spelling

overweight individuals

is mainly

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

eating too much

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

and the sedentary lifestyle caused by

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

world. To address

this

issue

people

should consider eating

heaithy

Correct your spelling

healthy

meals at

home

insted

Correct your spelling

instead

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

and

increas

Correct your spelling

increasing

their physical activity by exercising.

Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on Thu Oct 31 2024

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general

Ensure to carefully proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors.

task achievement

Some points lacked detailed explanation or were slightly repetitive. Aim for more concise and varied content.

coherence and cohesion

Include clearer transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt and addresses both the causes and solutions.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main ideas effectively.

task achievement

Good examples were provided to illustrate the main ideas, particularly regarding fast-food consumption.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Obesity
Processed foods
Caloric intake
Socioeconomic status
Nutritional education
Metabolic rate
Physical inactivity
Dietary habits
Health literacy
Psychological well-being
Chronic diseases
Body mass index (BMI)
Lifestyle modifications
Preventive measures
Healthcare interventions
Food deserts
Portion control
Weight management
Exercise regimen
Public health policy

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The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?

Fully explain your ideas

There are parents who are choosing to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school in some countries. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher, while others believe that students’ attitudes are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar ,which causes many health problems .Sugary products shoud be mad more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . do you agree or disagree ?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.