The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reasons for the growth in overweight people in society? How can this problem be solved?
In recent years, an increasing number of
people
face disease and severe health issues because of the growing number of obese individuals. This
essay will discus
how overconsumption of Correct your spelling
discuss
fast-food
and Correct your spelling
fast food
sedentary
lifestyle Correct article usage
a sedentary
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
heath
Correct your spelling
health
problem
, and the most suitable solutions are Fix the agreement mistake
problems
plant-based
diet and devoting time to exercise.
The main Correct article usage
a plant-based
cause
of obesity is overconsumption
of Add an article
the overconsumption
fast-food
which Correct your spelling
fast food
harmful
becauseAdd a missing verb
is harmful
,
the Remove the comma
apply
manority
of them are Correct your spelling
majority
minority
included
saturated fat. The consequences of consuming Verb problem
apply
fast-food
in moderation might not be considerable, Correct your spelling
fast food
however
, eating fast-food
every day could Correct your spelling
fast food
cause
obesity. For example
, a pizza have
Change the verb form
has
considerable
amount of Add an article
a considerable
calory
and if Replace the word
calories
people
eat pizza everyday
,they would exceed their daily intake calory. Replace the word
every day
Furthermore
, another reason is the sedentary lifestyle which is common nowaday
. Correct your spelling
nowadays
Advancement
in technology have caused remote working and online shopping which have Fix the agreement mistake
Advancements
been
required Unnecessary verb
apply
people
to sit for considerable hours. This
cause
insufficient Change the verb form
causes
physicall
activity which leads Correct your spelling
physical
people
to obesety
. Correct your spelling
obesity
For instance
, some individuals order their needs online instead
of going to the shopping centers
, Change the spelling
centres
therefore
, their physicall
activities are limited.
To tackle the problem of consuming too much Correct your spelling
physical
fast-food
, Correct your spelling
fast food
people
should eat domestic dishes and consider low-carb diets in order to reduce the amount of carbohidrate
in their food. Replacing healthy food Correct your spelling
carbohydrate
carbohydrates
insted
of those with saturated fatCorrect your spelling
instead
,
could Remove the comma
apply
limite
the risk of obesity. Correct your spelling
limit
Moreover
, to address the issue of imited
Correct your spelling
limited
physicall
activity, individuals should allocate time for exercise. They can consider enrolling Correct your spelling
physical
to
the gym or Change preposition
on
exercise
at Wrong verb form
exercising
home
. To illustrate, there are many online classes for exercising at home
that people
can enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
and
be physically active without leaving Change preposition
in and
home
.
In conclusion, increasing
number of Correct article usage
the increasing
overwieght individials
is mainly Correct your spelling
overweight individuals
due to
the
eating too much Correct article usage
apply
fast-food
and the sedentary lifestyle caused by Correct your spelling
fast food
modern
world. To address Add an article
the modern
this
issue people
should consider eating heaithy
meals at Correct your spelling
healthy
home
insted
of Correct your spelling
instead
fast-food
and Correct your spelling
fast food
increas
their physical activity by exercising.Correct your spelling
increasing
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
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Ensure to carefully proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors.
task achievement
Some points lacked detailed explanation or were slightly repetitive. Aim for more concise and varied content.
coherence and cohesion
Include clearer transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt and addresses both the causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main ideas effectively.
task achievement
Good examples were provided to illustrate the main ideas, particularly regarding fast-food consumption.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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