Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Being knowledgeable about different countries in the world is really impressive. But debate starts when
people
on one side think that to learn about other regions there is
need
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a need
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to visit them but
other
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the other
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says it is okay to take full advantage of
advance
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advanced
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technology and learn through
internet
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the internet
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or TV. I will discuss both
the
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apply
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views and will give my valued opinion
at the end
. First of all, going around everywhere on the earth for the purpose of
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
more knowledge sounds
exiciting
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exciting
and more adventurous as it will be like a "hands-on experiment" which means an individual would be able to feel, sense and hear basically can actually experience things and places, in-person.
For instance
, going
at
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to
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the peak of a mountain in any country would
definiately
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definitely
feel more amazing than reading about it at home.
As a result
, you get more information by experiencing and
taking
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talking
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to
people
there about their lives.
Secondly
, there are some
people
who prefer learning through some technological resources rather than flying to each destination to know
about
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about it
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. Which, sounds economical or no-cost way where time can
also
be saved.
For example
, reading articles plus watching
documentries
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documentaries
can greatly boost data with just cheap internet and less time spent on reading the article than planning a trip.
Hence
, it can be said it can be a great method to be well informed even without putting any effort to
personaly
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personally
move to the location for some facts.
To conclude
,
discussion
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the discussion
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of both views made me believe that each method has
it's
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its
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own significance and loopholes.
Thus
, keeping these in mind, I would say
that
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to
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utilize informational sources to know about places
then
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and then
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visit these to get
understanding
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an understanding
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in
more
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a more
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practical way, if possible.
Otherwise
, both actions are already good
way
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ways
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to educate
people
to
good
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a good
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extent.
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your essay by making your points more distinct and clear. While your ideas are communicated well, organizing them in a more systematic way could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced development for each viewpoint to ensure a comprehensive response to the prompt. This helps in addressing the task more fully.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of small language inaccuracies that can slightly affect the flow of reading, such as typos or repetitive phrases, even though they do not majorly impact the overall meaning.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and clearly states the topic and structure of your essay.
supported main points
You've presented relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the mountain experience and the use of documentaries.
introduction conclusion present
I appreciate the conclusion that synthesizes both perspectives and suggests a balanced approach—it wraps up the essay nicely.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Interactions
  • Tourism
  • Local economies
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Carbon emissions
  • Accessibility
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Authenticity
  • Reliability
  • Virtual reality
  • Immersive experiences
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