Some people think that to learn about other countries, they need to travel. Some say that it is not necessary to travel; we can have information through TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Being knowledgeable about different countries in the world is really impressive. But debate starts when
people
on one side think that to learn about other regions there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
to visit them but
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
says it is okay to take full advantage of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology and learn through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
or TV. I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and will give my valued opinion
at the end
. First of all, going around everywhere on the earth for the purpose of
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
more knowledge sounds
exiciting
Correct your spelling
exciting
and more adventurous as it will be like a "hands-on experiment" which means an individual would be able to feel, sense and hear basically can actually experience things and places, in-person.
For instance
, going
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
the peak of a mountain in any country would
definiately
Correct your spelling
definitely
feel more amazing than reading about it at home.
As a result
, you get more information by experiencing and
taking
Correct your spelling
talking
show examples
to
people
there about their lives.
Secondly
, there are some
people
who prefer learning through some technological resources rather than flying to each destination to know
about
Correct pronoun usage
about it
show examples
. Which, sounds economical or no-cost way where time can
also
be saved.
For example
, reading articles plus watching
documentries
Correct your spelling
documentaries
can greatly boost data with just cheap internet and less time spent on reading the article than planning a trip.
Hence
, it can be said it can be a great method to be well informed even without putting any effort to
personaly
Correct your spelling
personally
move to the location for some facts.
To conclude
,
discussion
Correct article usage
the discussion
show examples
of both views made me believe that each method has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
own significance and loopholes.
Thus
, keeping these in mind, I would say
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
utilize informational sources to know about places
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
visit these to get
understanding
Correct article usage
an understanding
show examples
in
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
practical way, if possible.
Otherwise
, both actions are already good
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to educate
people
to
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
extent.
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to improve the structure of your essay by making your points more distinct and clear. While your ideas are communicated well, organizing them in a more systematic way could enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced development for each viewpoint to ensure a comprehensive response to the prompt. This helps in addressing the task more fully.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of small language inaccuracies that can slightly affect the flow of reading, such as typos or repetitive phrases, even though they do not majorly impact the overall meaning.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and clearly states the topic and structure of your essay.
supported main points
You've presented relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the mountain experience and the use of documentaries.
introduction conclusion present
I appreciate the conclusion that synthesizes both perspectives and suggests a balanced approach—it wraps up the essay nicely.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Interactions
  • Tourism
  • Local economies
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Carbon emissions
  • Accessibility
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Authenticity
  • Reliability
  • Virtual reality
  • Immersive experiences
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!