IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If an individual acts in an anti-social way, such as committing the crime, who is to be blamed, society or the individual? what are the causes behind such behaviour? who should be responsible for this

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are often some
people
Use synonyms
 who go against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 rules,
basically
Correct word choice
and basically
show examples
 commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 which can be of any kind. There are
people
Use synonyms
 who think, who should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
 more responsible
society
Use synonyms
 or the
peron
Correct your spelling
person
. Even after so many
discussion
Fix the agreement mistake
discussions
show examples
this
Linking Words
 debate still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 so much to discuss about. Like what are
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 type of attitude? I will try my best to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it in upcoming paragraphs.
Initially
Linking Words
, it should be noted that
society
Use synonyms
 can be considered one reason for which
people
Use synonyms
 go against rules as
society
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role if there are some loopholes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
, there is
Correct article usage
a possibilty
show examples
possibilty
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of residents turning into criminals.
For instance
Linking Words
, Lack of proper guidance and
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
 can actually lead mass to wrong and
unaccpetable
Correct your spelling
unacceptable
 paths.
Secondly
Linking Words
, an
indvidual
Correct your spelling
individual
 at
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
 level
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have some choices, wills and thinking about good or bad things. Which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 a person is questionable for it's deeds.
For example
Linking Words
, even after
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 education, some do not want to work hard and go for shortcuts
hence
Linking Words
 choose robbery, thieving and scams to earn money. Moving forward, it can be seen that there can be various reasons for
this
Linking Words
 behaviour.
Like ineffective
Change preposition
Ineffective
show examples
 government rules and regulations can actually give the freedom to mass to openly harm communities and
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
. Take, the government of India, in past did not have strong enough laws to make residents afraid or scared to do anything bad
thus
Linking Words
 more crimes were seen.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
influence
Add an article
the influence
show examples
 of family background and upbringing can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to be
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
. Like, in some
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 backward parts of India there are
mankinds
Correct your spelling
humans
 who are from Robbery
gangs
Change the noun form
gang
show examples
 families
Linking Words
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
 proudly want their kids to be
Add an article
a robber
the robber
show examples
robber
Fix the agreement mistake
robbers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more
anti-socialist
Fix the agreement mistake
anti-socialists
show examples
 can be seen.
To conclude
Linking Words
, distinct
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 might have different reasons for anti-social conduct by some
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 improvement at
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
 and personal
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
overall
Linking Words
. It would be really wrong to blame one either,
society
Use synonyms
 or an individual, for
unethical
Correct article usage
the unethical
show examples
 behaviour of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas to ensure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next. Consider using clear linking words and phrases to improve cohesion.
task achievement
Strive to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and concisely.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or evidence to robustly support your points, making sure they are directly relevant to the argument presented.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
complete response
The task response is mostly complete, touching on both the societal and individual responsibilities for anti-social behavior.
relevant specific examples
Some specific examples are included, which helps to illustrate points, such as the influence of society and individual responsibility.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Anti-social behavior
  • Crime
  • Moral reasoning
  • Psychological factors
  • Social injustice
  • Inequality
  • Upbringing
  • Dysfunctional families
  • Peer pressure
  • Reciprocal influence
  • Free will
  • Moral compass
  • Governance
  • Law enforcement
  • Survival
  • Unchecked
  • Recreational facilities
  • Boredom
  • Normalization of crime
What to do next:
Look at other essays: