Chidren nowdays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.
Over the recent decades watching
TV
has become an integral part of children
's lives. According to
research
the number of Add a comma
research,
time
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
spend watching television has increase
, another opinion is that the amount of Change the verb form
increased
time
which
Correct word choice
that
children
spend encouraging higher levels of activity things has decreased. In this
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
show
Verb problem
apply
that
discuss the causes of Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
phenomenon and also
suggest some ways to encourage children
to do more productive things instead
of watching too much TV
.
Generally speaking, there is
a number of reasons why Correct subject-verb agreement
are
children's
too much watching television because is that Verb problem
children watch
due to
the
satellite Correct article usage
apply
TV
, this
medium is available all the time
. Perhaps the main reasons
why Fix the agreement mistake
reason
children
watch TV
that
some channels are Add a missing verb
is that
exculsively
dedicated to Correct your spelling
exclusively
children
. Secondly
, parents are busy to cope
with the demands of the Change the verb form
coping
pacced
life of today and after coming home after a hectic Correct your spelling
paced
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
work
do not have the energy to spend Change preposition
of work
time
with their children
.
Furthermore
, earlier there were joint families and grandparents were there to look after children
and encourage them to play in parks. Nowadays, there are nuclear families and children
are left alone, which makes them spend time
by
watching Change preposition
apply
TV
, Finally
, the cities have become concreate
jungles and there is no place for Correct your spelling
concrete
children
to play outdoor game
.
The Fix the agreement mistake
games
soloutions
are simple but the one is largely on the parents. They should give quality Correct your spelling
solutions
time
to their children
. outdoor activities should be encoruaged
and neighbourhood societies should be formed. Correct your spelling
encouraged
Park
should be maintained properly Add an article
The park
A park
where
Correct word choice
so
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
children
have a safe place to play outdoor
.
To summarise, television and Replace the word
outdoors
vedio
games, in moderation, can be a good thing. Correct your spelling
video
However
, excess of everything is bad. therefore
, I feel that parents should set viewing limits to ensure their children
do not spend too much time
watching TV
and other creative activities like they did in the earlier time
.Submitted by shahinhasan5615 on
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introduction conclusion
Your introduction does well to introduce the topic, but the thesis statement could be clearer. Try to clearly state what the essay will discuss and argue.
relevance examples
Your main ideas are relevant, but they sometimes lack clear examples to support them. Try to include specific examples or experiences to strengthen your arguments.
supported main points
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and adequate support. Some points, such as the role of parents and the influence of city environments, could be more thoroughly developed.
grammar spelling
Make sure to check your work for small grammatical errors and word choice issues, such as "concreate" instead of "concrete". These can slightly affect readability.
relevant reasons
You have appropriately identified key reasons why children watch more TV nowadays, like the availability of dedicated channels and the busy lifestyle of parents.
conclusion strength
You've included a logical conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view on the issue of children watching TV.
structure clarity
Your essay contains a clear structure with distinguishable sections for introduction, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.