Fewer people reading books these days.Therefore we should close all libraries and use the funds for something more urgent like healthcare.Do you agree or disagree

It is suggested that individuals should get rid of
libraries
as less amount of
people
are utilizing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
nowadays and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
other fields which are more vital to
people
such
as medical services.Despite these,I completely disagree that there are more advantages than drawbacks.And I will outline my reasons below. On one hand,investing funds
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
healthcare areas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
significant benefits.I have to mention,first and foremost,that more funding in healthcare can improve essential services
such
as hospitals,
clinics
Correct word choice
and clinics
show examples
which can save lives and improve quality of life.
For instance
,if there are
health
problems like waiting times,it can be easier to increase the availability of
nedications
Correct your spelling
medications
and treatments.It,
as a result
,can lead to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
show examples
of issues associated with
health
.
Furthermore
,the more
such
areas
subsidized
Add a missing verb
are subsidized
show examples
,the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
emergency services
need
Wrong verb form
are needed
show examples
.Since,if
people
have a large scale of medical treatments with various amenities,they do not need extra service.
This
,
consequently
,brings about healthier communities which benefits everyone.
On the other hand
,the merits of
libraries
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
the other side of the suggestion.
To begin
with,
libraries
are playing
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
role to decrease the
overall
level of isolation.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
individuals who are isolated from society and
people
like
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
or youngsters who are introverted can spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
or find peers who understand each other.
This
,in effect,can help combat loneliness and mental
health
struggles which indirectly supports public
health
.And as well,it is
also
worth mentioning that there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
point about digital access and gadgets in terms of reading books online.Not everyone has reliable internet at home or afford to purchase modern devices.
Libraries
,yet,can allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
take resources for learning without any difficulty. In conclusion,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
making use of money for healthcare
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
several advantageous sides.I am still in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of keeping
libraries
as it helps in many regards.
Submitted by Writing9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the topic. However, ensure that all ideas are fully expanded to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will improve the robustness of your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear. Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clearer logical structure between paragraphs and ensure that each idea flows into the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between sections are smooth and contribute to the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion which clearly present the main argument and summary.
supported main points
You successfully support your arguments with logical reasoning.
task achievement
The essay stays relevant to the topic and addresses both sides of the argument.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!