IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Fewer people reading books these days.Therefore we should close all libraries and use the funds for something more urgent like healthcare.Do you agree or disagree

#people #books #libraries #funds #healthcare
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It is suggested that individuals should get rid of
libraries
Use synonyms
 as less amount of
people
Use synonyms
 are utilizing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 nowadays and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other fields which are more vital to
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as medical services.Despite these,I completely disagree that there are more advantages than drawbacks.And I will outline my reasons below. On one hand,investing funds
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 healthcare areas
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 significant benefits.I have to mention,first and foremost,that more funding in healthcare can improve essential services
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals,
clinics
Correct word choice
and clinics
show examples
 which can save lives and improve quality of life.
For instance
Linking Words
,if there are
health
Use synonyms
 problems like waiting times,it can be easier to increase the availability of
nedications
Correct your spelling
medications
 and treatments.It,
as a result
Linking Words
,can lead to
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
show examples
 of issues associated with
health
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the more
such
Linking Words
 areas
subsidized
Add a missing verb
are subsidized
show examples
,the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 emergency services
need
Wrong verb form
are needed
show examples
.Since,if
people
Use synonyms
 have a large scale of medical treatments with various amenities,they do not need extra service.
This
Linking Words
,
consequently
Linking Words
,brings about healthier communities which benefits everyone.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the merits of
libraries
Use synonyms
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the other side of the suggestion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
libraries
Use synonyms
 are playing
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
 role to decrease the
overall
Linking Words
 level of isolation.Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 individuals who are isolated from society and
people
Use synonyms
 like
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 or youngsters who are introverted can spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
effeciently
Correct your spelling
efficiently
 or find peers who understand each other.
This
Linking Words
,in effect,can help combat loneliness and mental
health
Use synonyms
 struggles which indirectly supports public
health
Use synonyms
.And as well,it is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that there is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 point about digital access and gadgets in terms of reading books online.Not everyone has reliable internet at home or afford to purchase modern devices.
Libraries
Use synonyms
,yet,can allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 take resources for learning without any difficulty. In conclusion,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 making use of money for healthcare
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 several advantageous sides.I am still in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of keeping
libraries
Use synonyms
 as it helps in many regards.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the topic. However, ensure that all ideas are fully expanded to enhance clarity and depth.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments. This will improve the robustness of your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear. Try to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clearer logical structure between paragraphs and ensure that each idea flows into the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between sections are smooth and contribute to the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion which clearly present the main argument and summary.
supported main points
You successfully support your arguments with logical reasoning.
task achievement
The essay stays relevant to the topic and addresses both sides of the argument.
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