IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
In recent years technology has developed a lot. it allows us to read
news
,
articals
Correct your spelling
articles
, and a lot more.
Therefore
,
people
 stopped
read from
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 newspapers. I totally agree with
this
 statement,
this
 essay will discuss my point of
veiw
Correct your spelling
view
. It is obvious that technology has enhanced dramatically over the past few years. And we as human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have to cope with
this
 evolution. To enhance the
qualty
Correct your spelling
quality
 of living. All
people
 now read the
news
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 because it is faster and more convenient.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 all the big
news
channals
Correct your spelling
channels
 and writers switch to online writing.
For example
, CCN
news
 is one of the biggest
news
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
show examples
. used to deliver
news
 in paper.
However
, it changed in early 2000 to become
website
Add an article
a website
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 and it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more popular.
Hence
,
people
 tend to read online
news
 more than paper basis. I believe that
people
 are prone to read online
news
 because it is more
convenint
Correct your spelling
convenient
. And give us a variety of sources. Plus it is free. And easy to access.
Therefore
,
people
 are more likely to
prefere
Correct your spelling
prefer
 online
news
instead
 of newspapers. For instance, a survey in Japan shows that the majority of
people
 tend to read the
news
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
due to
 the fact it is easy and faster.
Moreover
, they can
respone
Correct your spelling
respond
response
 and give their own opinion online.
This
 highlights why the
internet
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 more popular now. In conclusion, the
internet
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
huge amount of information and
news
 with zero cost and easy access.
Hence
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe online sources offer way more than any newspapers.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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task achievement
Work on providing more detailed examples and supporting points to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how specific technological advancements have led to the decline of newspapers.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to ensure fluidity and clarity. Consider revising sentences for better coherence.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position, agreeing with the notion that newspapers are becoming obsolete.
coherence cohesion
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion which clearly state your view and summarize the main points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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