The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incedence of whooping cough, a childhood illness, between 1940 and 1990 in Britain

The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incedence of whooping cough, a childhood illness, between 1940 and 1990 in Britain
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
the number of
cases
Use synonyms
of whooping
cough
Use synonyms
, a childhood
illnes befor
Correct your spelling
illness before
and after vaccinations, from 1940 and 1990 in Britain.
According to
Linking Words
the graph, reported
cases
Use synonyms
of whipping
cough
Use synonyms
rocketed up from 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
to above
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
150
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
in 1940 after
then
Linking Words
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
to 60
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
and fluctuated between 60 and 90
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
during a
small
Correct word choice
short
show examples
period. After fluctuation,
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
show examples
of whooping
cough
Use synonyms
cases
Use synonyms
reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak with about 170
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
occasions
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
started hesitation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same way. 
Beetwen
Correct your spelling
Between
1950 and 1960, when fluctuation was on the lowest point around 60 thousand reported
cases
Use synonyms
, vaccination was begun. There was a significant decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
whooping
cough
Use synonyms
occasions
Use synonyms
closly
Correct your spelling
close
to 0 from 1960 to 1975.
Whereas
Linking Words
30% of people were
vacctinated
Correct your spelling
vaccinated
, the
illnes
Correct your spelling
illness
has grown
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
to 60
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
occasions
Use synonyms
, after
vactination
Correct your spelling
vaccination
uptaked
Correct your spelling
uptake
uptakes
and
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
94 per cent the number of whooping
cases
Use synonyms
dropped to the end of the period and achieved 0
occasions
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there was a huge pandemic between 1940 and 1955.
However
Linking Words
, when
huminity
Correct your spelling
humanity
humidity
in
Brittain
Correct your spelling
Britain
show examples
started to use vaccines the number of whooping
cough
Use synonyms
and childhood
illnes
Correct your spelling
illnesses
dramatically
deacresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
decrease
.
Submitted by k.dudakov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words cases, cough, thousands, occasions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: