The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incedence of whooping cough, a childhood illness, between 1940 and 1990 in Britain

#impact #vaccinations #incedence #cough #childhood #illness #britain

The graph

illustrate

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illustrates

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the number of

cases

of whooping

cough

, a childhood

illnes befor

Correct your spelling

illness before

and after vaccinations, from 1940 and 1990 in Britain.

According to

the graph, reported

cases

of whipping

cough

rocketed up from 50

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

to above

Change preposition

apply

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150

thousands

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thousand

show examples

in 1940 after

then

decresed

Correct your spelling

decreased

to 60

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

and fluctuated between 60 and 90

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

during a

small

Correct word choice

short

show examples

period. After fluctuation,

quantity

Add an article

the quantity

a quantity

show examples

of whooping

cough

cases

reached

the

Correct article usage

show examples

peak with about 170

thousands

Change to singular

thousand

show examples

occasions

then

started hesitation

Change preposition

show examples

the same way.

Beetwen

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Between

1950 and 1960, when fluctuation was on the lowest point around 60 thousand reported

cases

, vaccination was begun. There was a significant decline

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whooping

cough

occasions

closly

Correct your spelling

to 0 from 1960 to 1975.

Whereas

30% of people were

vacctinated

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vaccinated

, the

illnes

Correct your spelling

illness

has grown

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

to 60

thousands

Fix the agreement mistake

thousand

show examples

occasions

, after

vactination

Correct your spelling

vaccination

uptaked

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uptake

uptakes

and

achived

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achieved

94 per cent the number of whooping

cases

dropped to the end of the period and achieved 0

occasions

. In conclusion, there was a huge pandemic between 1940 and 1955.

However

, when

huminity

Correct your spelling

humanity

humidity

Brittain

Correct your spelling

Britain

show examples

started to use vaccines the number of whooping

cough

and childhood

illnes

Correct your spelling

illnesses

dramatically

deacresed

Correct your spelling

decreased

decrease

Submitted by k.dudakov on Fri Nov 01 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cases, cough, thousands, occasions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incedence of whooping cough, a childhood illness, between 1940 and 1990 in Britain

Some people argue that art, such as paintings and music are a waste of money and and the government should spend this money on pubic service To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents. However, some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures, what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?