IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The charts below show the changes in owernship of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparsions where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#show #changes #owernship #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #feature #comparsions
The two graphs
reveals
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reveal
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 time they spent
in
Change preposition
on
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 homework in households in a specific nation from 1920 to 2019
Overall
, electrical appliances in
washing
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the washing
a washing
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machine
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machines
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,
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 experienced
significant
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a significant
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 increase between 1920 and 2019,
while
 people
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
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 time
in
Change preposition
on
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 housework had gradually
decline
Change the verb form
declined
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 during the given years. residents use electronic
in
Change preposition
apply
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refrigerator
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refrigerators
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dramistically
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dramatically
drastically
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 from about 5% to 100% from 1920 to 2019.
Similarily
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Similarly
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, the rate of vacuum people using electricity
signficantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 increased from 30% to 100%. the proportion of washing
mechine
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machine
 in
electrionic
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electronic
fluctrated
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fluctuated
fluctuate
 from 40% to around 65% between 1920 to 1980. After that, the figure experienced
stable
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a stable
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 increase to about 78%. In
constract
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contrast
, people
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
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 time in
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 constantly dropped from 50 hours per week to 10 hours per week between 1920 and 2019.
Submitted by wailung1218 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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