In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule?

Smoking is injurious to our health.
And in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
it is not permitted to smoke in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
areas
and office properties which implies
to maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
a healthy environment
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
all. I am strongly in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of
this
rule and it can be applied in every country to
decereone
Correct your spelling
decrease
the
overall
smoking rate.
Firstly
, we all know smoking causes a lot of health problems like breathing problems and respiratory
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
including the
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
disease cancer. The person nearby the smoker gets more affected by smoking
tham
Correct your spelling
than
the smoker himself.
For example
,
country
Add an article
a country
show examples
like Singapore they imposed a very strict law for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoker who smokes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. And if they
caught
Add a missing verb
are caught
show examples
then
they need to pay a huge amount of money as
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
. There are designated
areas
in the city, where people can smoke without harming others. And the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
and the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
abide by
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
rules.
Secondly
, smoking in public
areas
such
an
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
, public transportation,
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
can have a negative health impact on passersby. Sometimes
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
and older people come to the park and if they find out the smell they will be irritated and uncomfortable. Previously in Bangladesh, people
smoke
Wrong verb form
smoked
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the bus. And the passengers got really disturbed by
this
act.
Then
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
imposed
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
law that smoking is
prohibitted
Correct your spelling
prohibited
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
areas
. In office
areas
also
other employees
got
Verb problem
are
show examples
affected by diseases
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
smoking. In conclusion, I would say that imposing
this
rule actually
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
a better environment for everyone. It will have a positive impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
but
also
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
every human's life.
Submitted by raisasd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to address all parts of the prompt thoroughly. While the essay supports the idea of banning smoking in public areas, consider discussing potential drawbacks or counterarguments to enhance task achievement.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. Including statistics or real-life scenarios could enhance reader understanding and strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, improving overall unity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos. Although they do not significantly hinder understanding, avoiding them will make your writing more professional.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving a structured feel to the writing.
task achievement
You stated your opinion clearly and provided reasons to support it, addressing the task effectively.
task achievement
You offered examples to support your arguments, making your points more relatable and understandable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • passive smoking
  • respiratory issues
  • health conditions
  • cigarette butts
  • littering
  • promote a healthier lifestyle
  • smoking rates
  • workplace productivity
  • absenteeism
  • smoke-free environment
  • rights of non-smokers
  • inclusive
  • personal freedom
  • governmental overreach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: