Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others believe that individuals can still make a significant difference in addressing these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Environmental
problems
become one of the main challenges for humanity and require to be addressed. Some people
think that it is a governments
responsibility to solve these issues, considering the complexity and the scale. Others, including me, believe that each person could make Change noun form
government's
its
own effort by developing Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
more
careful relationship with the environment.
Global warming, Add an article
a more
greenhouse
effect and many other earth-wide Correct article usage
the greenhouse
problems
have been influencing humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
live
more and more. A lot of countries suffer from droughts, floods and rising average temperatures, each of the listed issues damages almost every aspect of Replace the word
lives
people
's life
. In that Fix the agreement mistake
lives
case
many Add a comma
case,
people
think that government
should pay more attention to Correct article usage
the government
solve
these Wrong verb form
solving
problems
,
because they can allocate their resources to prevent or at least Remove the comma
apply
to
mitigate natural disasters and to slow or forbid processes that negatively affect Fix the infinitive
apply
environment
. Add an article
the environment
For example
, the government of Netherlands
had a large budget in the Correct article usage
the Netherlands
last
year to build special constructions that protect the land from the
floods. Another example is Algeria, where the process of increasing the number of trees has been launched at the boundary with Correct article usage
apply
Sahara
desert, to stop sandwinds. None of the individuals can invest Correct article usage
the Sahara
such
global and complex projects.
Despite the noncomparable resources, Change preposition
in such
the
individuals still can be Correct article usage
apply
the
integral part of resolving these challenges. The environment is being damaged not only by the enormous amount of industrial gases or waste that are being released Change the article
an
to
the riversChange preposition
into
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
by increasing
consumption of plastic and fossil fuel. A lot of sea and ocean shores are filled Correct article usage
the increasing
by
used plastic bottles, packets and containers. Change preposition
with
Moreover
, the
Correct article usage
a
plenty
number of studies show that cars used by Correct word choice
large
people
produces
Change the verb form
produce
the
third of all amount of gases, which affect Correct article usage
a
atmosphere
. To resolve these issues each person could use Add an article
the atmosphere
recycable
bags or Correct your spelling
recyclable
bottle
Fix the agreement mistake
bottles
instead
of the
plastic ones.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
the
ecological Correct article usage
apply
problems
become more and more important and have increasing
effect on the planet. Despite the governments have significant resources to explore and handle Add an article
an increasing
such
changes, I believe that each person should start to make its
own effort to preserve our planet.Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
Submitted by batashevge on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing more balanced reasoning for both perspectives to ensure each side of the argument is equally represented.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more linking words to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure for clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
A stronger and more specific conclusion could be provided to reinforce your viewpoint.
task achievement
You've included real-world examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the problem and clearly outlines the contentious views.
task achievement
You provide a thoughtful conclusion that aligns with your stated opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example