There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that income is the biggest reason why a worker
choose
to stay at the same Change the verb form
chooses
company
. This
essay disagrees with the statement since the workplace's hospitality and the opportunity to learn are the most prominant
viable solution to influence them to not move.
How an employer Correct your spelling
prominent
creating
their business environment is a crucial aspect that can make their employees Wrong verb form
creates
feel
difficult to move to another workplace. By using humans' physicological hormones like dopamine and Verb problem
find it
serotonine
which grow when a person Correct your spelling
serotonin
feel
needed and loved, Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
such
as having bonding activities regularly, a company
could influance
their workers to stay even though they have low income. Correct your spelling
influence
For example
, tobacco companies in Malang, Indonesia, is
well-known as one of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
low
paid Add an article
the low
a low
company
; Fix the agreement mistake
companies
however
, the number of workers who work
there year by year are
more likely never change because the companies Change the verb form
is
is almost never have
Change the verb form
almost never have
mothly
Correct your spelling
monthly
picnic
.
Another Fix the agreement mistake
picnics
reson
why a worker Correct your spelling
reason
choose
to Change the verb form
chooses
work
in a
same Correct article usage
the
company
is that
the opportunity to upgrade their skill and knowledge. A number of Correct word choice
apply
freshgraduated
students nowadays choose to Correct your spelling
fresh graduated
work
in a famous business for years as they can have the previllage
to gain professional advice directly from their supervisors or their seniors who Correct your spelling
privilege
work
there. Indonesia, for instance
, have
many Papuan young doctors who choose to Change the verb form
has
work
in the
public hospitals for Correct article usage
apply
long
time with low income just because they are motivated to get the skill, knowledge, and even recommendation from Change the article
a long
the
senior cardiologists to Correct article usage
apply
persue
their school in Correct your spelling
pursue
cardiology
Correct article usage
the cardiology
departement
.
In conclusion, I believe that it is not about money but hospitality and learning opportunity Correct your spelling
department
giving
by a Wrong verb form
given
company
is a main factor which can make employees to
Change the verb form
apply
work
in a
same Correct article usage
the
company
for long
period of time.Add an article
a long
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure all parts of the essay are consistently linked and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure each argument presented is fully developed and supported with clear reasoning and examples.
grammar usage
Some grammatical errors are present, such as incorrect word forms and spelling. Double-check your writing for these minor errors.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance and maintains it throughout the response, providing a focused and relevant argument.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples, such as the companies in Malang, Indonesia, enhances the credibility and relevance of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a distinct introduction and conclusion, which clearly frame the main points and enhance readability and structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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