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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the sale of washing machines in Dyton Company in one decade. The bar graph is based on a survey conducted to measure the popularity of the products in this company between 1990 and 2000.

The pie charts below show the sale of washing machines in Dyton Company in one decade. The bar graph is based on a survey conducted to measure the popularity of the products in this company between 1990 and 2000.
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The pie charts illustrate the
market
Use synonyms
share
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 of four washing machine companies in a
10 year
Add a hyphen
10-year
show examples
 period (from 1990 to 2000),
while
Linking Words
 the graph shows the result of a survey that monitors the popularity of Dyton products over the same period.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that in 1990 MMC had more than half of the
market
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share
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 (60% in total), which decreased significantly over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and in 2000, it accounted for only 39% of the
market
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share
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Obecalp's
market
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share
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 was more steady and varied between 19 and 17 per cent over the period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Corr
also
Linking Words
 had almost the same results of 20% and 21% in the first 5 years, but from 1995 to 2000 it dropped dramatically to 12%.
However
Linking Words
, Dyton only had 2% of the total
market
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share
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 and in 1995 it earned 8 per cent of it.
This
Linking Words
 was the lowest
share
Use synonyms
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 5 years, but in 2000 there was a surprisingly high increase in
Dyton
Change noun form
Dyton's
show examples
market
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 time the company had the
second biggest
Add a hyphen
second-biggest
show examples
share
Use synonyms
 in the
market
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the popularity of
this
Linking Words
 company rose as its
market
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share
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 went up. As expected, in 2000 the company had the biggest rise in popularity.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words market, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • sales figures
  • consumer preferences
  • economic conditions
  • technological advancements
  • market competition
  • marketing strategy
  • increase/decrease
  • popularity
  • survey results
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