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Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#technology #computers #internet #people #work #home #atleast #part #time #office #situation
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Nowadays, people can
work
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 from
home
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due to
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 the advancement of
technology
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.
Especially
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In particular
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, computers and the
Internet
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 made
ease
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easy
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on
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to
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work
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 from
home
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, because of
these modern
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this modern technology
these modern technologies
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technology
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 highly qualified people can provide their services using computers and the
Internet
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, rather than
attend
Verb problem
apply
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physically in the
office
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 .
Although
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, it has many advantages, including disadvantages as well. So, in
this
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 essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
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both perspectives that will illustrate
benefits
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the benefits
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 and drawbacks. Lots of people in
this
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 world can't
work
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 by going to the
office
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 physically because of their physical disabilities. Fortunately, in light of the enhancement of
technology
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, those who weren’t able to go to the
office
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 by themselves, now the talented can
work
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 from
home
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 by providing their services throughout the world using
computer
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computers
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 and
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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.
For example
Linking Words
, a boy in my city is brilliant at web development, he learned various skills without any cost from
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Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 and using his laptop. After learning all the skills needed for his job, he started freelancing from his
home
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 and earned a vast amount of money. Regardless of the fact that
,
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apply
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 modern
technology
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 brings lots of benefits, including drawbacks as well. In terms of good health, it is essential for workers to go to the
office
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 in person, rather than staying at
home
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 and
complete
Wrong verb form
completing
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 the
work
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 from
home
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. It could affect our social environment
due to
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 the fluctuation and balance in the workforce.
For instance
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, if a food delivery man stops his
work
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 and thinks that he can
also
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 do the same thing by working from
home
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, that could disrupt the workforce balance in a country. In conclusion, human should keep adjusting their balance of workforce, where they feel they can go for that job
as well as
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 doing
work
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 from
home
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. The mixture of both physical and online
job
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jobs
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 would be more productive than staying at
home
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. For that reason,
suggesting
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apply
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those who
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
meeting
Verb problem
have
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 any physical disabilities,
they
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apply
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must focus on
a
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apply
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physical
work
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 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 social environment and their physical well-being as well
Submitted by AL NURE FOYZUR REZA SUPRIO on

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coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to improve coherence.
task achievement
Make sure all main points are well supported with relevant examples and explanations. For example, in discussing disadvantages, you can add more specific examples apart from workforce balance.
task achievement
While discussing the negative impacts on social interaction, try to provide more detailed reasoning or evidence to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The essay effectively highlights the advantages of remote work through a relevant personal example about freelancing and technology's role.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-presented, outlining and summarizing the main ideas clearly.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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