IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #bicycles #form #transport #case
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Even though bicycles are an efficient mode of transport, recently the number of
bike
 riders
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 decreasing and folks are discouraged
to use
Change preposition
from using
show examples
 bikes. but rather prefer driving a car or a bus.
This
 essay will overview the causes and suggestions to improve the situation.
Firstly
, one of the major reasons that bikes nowadays are unpreferable is climate change, Some countries are too hot and humid, which makes it very challenging to use a
bike
 every day to work
for instance
.
Conversely
, some countries are too cold, so having a
bike
 could even be more demanding and tough
due to
 the slippery roads and snow.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 in gulf
regions
Add a comma
regions,
show examples
 the employees prefer to have any other
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of transport rather than the bicycle, as the weather is burning which results in sweating and dehydration. In order to promote
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 to work especially during the hot weather, I believe having the facilities of shower cabins at work will be a very good option, the employee can shower and change their clothes to avoid sweat and bad smells.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 Scandinavians have many bicycle accessories to facilitate the ride, they offer studs for a better grip,
also
 they suggest winter wheels, those options are affordable and accessible to everyone which
make
Verb problem
puts
show examples
 them on the top list of
bike
 riders. In Conclusion, the weather is one of the main factors that prevents some people from having a
bike
therefore
 we need to offer more hygiene facilities and more
bike
 models and accessories to boost the
bike
 choice.
Submitted by Mido  on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to your main argument. A brief summary or linking sentence at the end of each paragraph can help.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further with more specific examples and explanations. This will give your arguments more depth.
language use
Improve the accuracy of your language by checking grammar, tense, and sentence structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay presented a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples from different climates, showing good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay was logical and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
What to do next:
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