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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#information #population #zealand #age #group #formation #features #comparisons
The table below presents data on the number of
people
 in New Zealand
according to
 their
age
 from 2011 to 2012. In New
Zealand
Add a comma
Zealand,
show examples
 most of the population are of
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
 15-39,
while
 the
age
group
While
 there was an increase in the total number of populations, the number of
people
 under 39 decreased and the most significant increase was the
people
 above 65. In 2011 there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 nearly 1.58 million
new
Capitalize word
New
show examples
 Zealanders in the 15-39nage
group
, closely followed by
40
Correct article usage
the 40
show examples
-64
age
group
,
both
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 together was almost a total of 3 million. nearly 900,000 were under 15 and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 the fewest
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 over the
age
 of 65m about 600,000. By 2012, the population increased by 0.6% , Seniors older than 65 experienced the most increase of 4% to nearly 600,000
people
. The
age
group
 40-64 comes in second place with a rise of 0.6%,
while
 the remaining demographics reported the same percentage decrease of 0.2%
Submitted by Mido  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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