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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #country #birth #people #australia #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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Give are two figures
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 concerning the generation nation of Australian citizens
along with
Linking Words
wheather
Correct your spelling
whether
 they
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
 in
ehither
Correct your spelling
either
 urban areas or rural areas.
Overall
Linking Words
,
A
Change preposition
at A
show examples
glance at two these graphs, it
apears
Correct your spelling
appears
 that among of five countries include
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Australia, China, New Zealand and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 and the other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
, The other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 have
most
Correct word choice
the highest
show examples
 proportion of residency
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia after their native.
Also
Linking Words
, These
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 mostly
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in the Cities
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fertility of individuals living in Australia
belong
Correct subject-verb agreement
belongs
show examples
 to Native. Accounting for just less than three
quarter
Fix the agreement mistake
quarters
show examples
, second in terms of birth of society is other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 with 14% and
then
Linking Words
 third most widely is the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 with 7%, as
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by China, New Zealand and Netherlands with 6% collectively.
Second,
Linking Words
with regard to the table that provided information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how many of them live in cities and
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
, Significantly, the majority of individuals who live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 urban from China
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
99% in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the native
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just 83% of them
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
town
Add an article
the town
a town
show examples
. Other nations include
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, The Uk,
New
Correct word choice
and New
show examples
 Zealand listed with 90%, 89%,
80
Correct word choice
and 80
show examples
% respectively, which residency in the cities.
Submitted by mahyarnaseri on

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