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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is often said, “when in Rome, do as the Roman do”. Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they visit? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

#“when #rome #roman #do” #people #culture #country #visit #language
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Before visiting some country, people usually had become aware of the culture of the country they have planned to travel
.
Change preposition
to.
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 As a rule, there is no necessity to adjust to the local mentality for special, it must happen itself.
Firstly
, you would be recommended to learn something new about the place, that you are visiting. The amount of new information, you might know, could be large enough for easy perception,
consequently
, figuring out the new culture rather is more difficult, than simple, as familiarity with it, may stretch. People are likely to tend to be lazy, so a willingness to study a new language or something other
,
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apply
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 apparently will be absent, depending on the plans of a specific person, who is determined to do it.
Secondly
, most of the countries in the world have their town and cities, that have districts, devoted to a concrete nation,
for example
, Chinatown in London. It could seem unusual, because of
widespread
Correct article usage
the widespread
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 of these districts, but they have existed for a long time, and they were established by people all around the world, particularly from China. Being here, you don't need to know
culture
Add an article
the culture
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, because of the environment,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 seems to be very familiar, if you are from Asia, especially from China. Thereby, you may experience some new feelings, being in a new country, but over time, whether or not you will be able to adapt, depends on the circumstances, that around you, and from your desire.
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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay better by clearly separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples to support your points. Adding such examples helps to illustrate your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a genuine attempt to discuss the topic and presents an opinion on cultural adaptation and its challenges.
coherence cohesion
Good effort in highlighting the complexity of cultural adaptation and different factors affecting it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural adaptation
  • cultural assimilation
  • heritage
  • cultural exchange
  • cultural diversity
  • mutual respect
  • linguistic acquisition
  • non-verbal communication
  • social norms
  • cultural immersion
  • cross-cultural
  • cultural nuances
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