Some people believe that climate has the greatest effect on people's way of life. Other believe that the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The following pie charts show how
people
reached their office and returned home in both 1950 and 2009 in Europe.
Overall
, it is interesting to note that the first pie
chart
in 1959 describes the average distance at 3.5 km with only 17 minutes,
while
the
chart
in the year 2009 shows the average distance at 19km, which is nearly two times more than the average duration in 1959 at 42 minutes, which is almost the double.  Having a closer look at the first
chart
, it is remarkable that in 1959, most
people
were using their feet, which is dominated by more than half at 55%, followed by public transportation
such
as the train and the bus,
while
they were both in the same rate at 15%.
In contrast
,
people
who used their cars were the double of the other way.  Turning to the other pie
chart
, in 2009, cars became more common, which ranked first at 35%,
while
people
who used their feet had the second highest rate at 25%;
however
, the rest of the methods were under 20%, which are bus, train, and other methods, respectively.
Submitted by talahakoura27 on

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introduction conclusion present
Try to include a more thorough conclusion, summarizing the main points discussed and stating your opinion clearly.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples and data to support your comparisons across the two time periods.
logical structure
While the essay is well-organized, consider adding more linking words to enhance the flow between different sections.
complete response
The essay provides a clear comparison between the two time periods, effectively highlighting changes.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is well-organized, with information presented logically and coherently.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay showcases a detailed analysis of data from the pie charts, presenting a good understanding of the information.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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