Fewer people are reading books these days. Therefore we should close all libraries and use funds for something more urgent like healthcare. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #books #libraries #funds #healthcare

Nowadays, most people are not reading

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

Hence

, we need to close all

book

centres

and use the funds for something more serious like hospitals. I disagree with

this

viewpoint for several reasons. Now, I will discuss

reasons

Correct article usage

the reasons

show examples

for my

perspectiv

Correct your spelling

perspective

Firstly

, closing all

libraries

can

good

Add a missing verb

be good

show examples

but if

book

centres

are closed by

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

, children may be ignorant.

Libraries

are not only places for reading books, but

also

the saving

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and heritage and distributing it.

Moreover

, they provide an opportunity to learn and give a chance to self-development and get to know the news. Many

libraries

offer services like online

database

Fix the agreement mistake

databases

show examples

electron

Replace the word

electronic

show examples

books and access Internet.

Furthermore

book

centres

are not only places for

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

, but

also

the bridge of science and culture.

On the other hand

, healthcare and

libraries

are important to society.

Libraries

support the spiritual and mental health of citizens, and,

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

people to get rid of loneliness. Some

researchs

Correct your spelling

research

researchers

reading can reduce stress and improve mental abilities. We restrict the access to knowledge and cultural heritage of

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

by closing

libraries

Moreover

, by closing all

libraries

, future generations can be

desprived

Correct your spelling

deprived

described

information about our culture and history.

To sum up

, in my opinion,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

closing all

libraries

can bring

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

losses for society. Healthcare is

also

significant, but education

centres

such

as,

libraries

are

also

important.

Submitted by Writing9 on Sun Nov 03 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence, use paragraphing effectively. Distinct sections for different arguments can aid in clarity.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. Citing statistics or specific library programs could add depth.

Language Accuracy

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading could improve sentence structure and use of articles.

Task Achievement

The introduction clearly states your position on the issue.

Task Achievement

You acknowledge the importance of healthcare while making a case for libraries, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay concludes with a strong summary of your argument.

Content

You emphasize the cultural and educational value of libraries, which is a strong point.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fewer people are reading books these days. Therefore we should close all libraries and use funds for something more urgent like healthcare. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and gie your own opinion.

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers

Some people are happy to spend their whole lives in the same area. Other people prefer to live in many different areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion