IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is a good idea, while others disagree strongly. Consider both sides of this debate and present your own opinion. You should give reasons for your answer and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #gap #year #school #university #idea #debate
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Currently, public places in many
cities
 of different
countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 much more
noise
pollution
.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 of
this
 trouble is
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
, there are several reasons for protecting it. On the one hand, many
cities
 of
countries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 becoming
pollution
Replace the word
polluted
show examples
 by
noise
, air, and so on. But common of
this
 is
noise
pollution
.
This
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
.
For example
, in
cities
becoming
Verb problem
rising
show examples
 population cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
noise
.
Also
, coming
tourists
 from other
countries
, increasing migrants and
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
 reasons lead to
noise
pollution
 in
countries
. Not only,
it
Add a missing verb
does it
show examples
 happen
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
, but
also
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 to it.
Such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 public places
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many
cities
 have many cars.
Thus
, the sound of them
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
pollution
.
On the other hand
,
this
 trouble might
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 several different ways.
For instance
, some
people
 have got to
migrating
Wrong verb form
migrate
show examples
 to other sides. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 older don'
t
 like
noise
, even some don'
t
 adore funny
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children. Migrating is better for them.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 don'
t
 ignore
this
 trouble. They'll try to solve
this
,
such
 as, they can limit
tourists
 that come to
countries
 or they might send
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
cities
 in a country. Currently, a city of a country
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 to about 200
tourists
 in a day. They definitely lead to
noise
pollution
. If
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 limit to coming many
tourists
 to a country in a day,
tourists
 have got to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
another
Replace the adjective
another cutie
other cuties
show examples
cuties
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
 of a state.
Also
,
sound
Add an article
the sound
show examples
 of cars is harmful and many
people
 don'
t
 like it. If
people
 drive cars
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
 speed, it's better for many. In conclusion, in
countries
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
things that lead to
noise
pollution
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot. They might prevent
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 any
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
.
Submitted by Writing9 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically; ensure each paragraph clearly covers one aspect of the argument.
task achievement
Try to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by developing each point further. Use specific examples to illustrate your arguments better.
task achievement
You have effectively included both sides of the issue in the essay, which shows your ability to address the task.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, setting the essay structure effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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