IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #university #education #students #fees
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that education has become a more crucial part of our lives.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that governments should provide a university education free to
students
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that others reckon they
students
Use synonyms
 should be paid for their courses.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, the majority of people can not afford the cost of living and they struggle with main needs.
In other words
Linking Words
, as I mentioned above they have a commitment to life ,
therefore
Linking Words
 the governments have paid
instead
Linking Words
 of them to provide their money for the future.
In addition
Linking Words
, with taxes and other obligations , life is hard for them and free courses will assist them in
become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
 active
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 of society.
For example
Linking Words
, if the government bears their educational programs , they will be able to get a significant
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 student.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other people believe they
students
Use synonyms
 should depend on themselves and bear their fees for studying. Perhaps,
this
Linking Words
 idea forces
students
Use synonyms
 to learn how to manage their own money and advantages for the future. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that fees for courses are reasonable prices to be paid a fair amount.
For instance
Linking Words
, if they bear paid fees for their studying ,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the governments should have paid their taxes and other expenses. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free education offers
students
Use synonyms
 freedom and convenience.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify or elaborate on how free education directly benefits society or the government's role in education.
task achievement
Ensure more explicit connection with examples so ideas are clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the use of connecting words to enhance the logical flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to clearly highlight the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay, making the structure easy to follow.
task achievement
Addresses the task by discussing both views and providing an opinion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: