It is suggested that curfew hours must be implemented among children. And they are only allowed to go out at night with the supervision of adult. Do you agree or disagree?

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Someone suggested that the
children
should be
supervision
Replace the word
supervised
show examples
by
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
go outside at night. In my
opinint
Correct your spelling
opinion
, I agree with
this
suggetion
Correct your spelling
suggestion
in order to ensure the
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
of
children
.
Admmidtly
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
,
curfew
hours
may deprive the
children
's privacy and
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
the
adult
's workload. It is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
that
children
go
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
outside with their friends are
expolring
Correct your spelling
expanding
and
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
up their own
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
. It is critical for them
realize
Fix the infinitive
to realize
show examples
the concept of privacy. If there are watcher
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
them, it may disrupt and deprive their conversation and private zone.
Furthermore
,
curfew
hours
may
leading
Change the verb form
lead
be leading
show examples
to
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
wokeload
Correct your spelling
workload
for
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
. Many
parent
Change to a plural noun
parents
show examples
after working at the workplace,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
fatigue
Wrong verb form
fatigued
show examples
and just want
Add the particle
to
show examples
relax at home.
However
,
their
Correct word choice
if their
show examples
children
want to hand out,
then
they must
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
supervision
Replace the word
supervise
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
, which not only
deprive
Correct subject-verb agreement
deprives
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
chill
Change preposition
of chill
show examples
time for parents, but
also
will induce
Wrong verb form
induces
show examples
the argue
Verb problem
arguments
show examples
and conflict between them.
However
, I still believe
hat
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
implementing
curfew
hours
for
children
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
complustory
Correct your spelling
compulsory
and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is critical for
protection
Replace the word
protecting
show examples
children
's
safe
Replace the word
safety
show examples
.
A research
Remove the article
Research
show examples
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
that
children
go
Correct pronoun usage
who go
show examples
outside at night may encounter more danger
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
.
For example
,
children
may easily get
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
and disappear at night, since there are fewer people on the street and it
hard
Add a missing verb
is hard
show examples
to stop the crime and find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aid for
children
.
Moreover
,
children
have less self-protection than
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
most of child have weak
awerenance
Correct your spelling
awareness
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
.
Also
, they do not have enough physical shape to against
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
.
Therefore
, it is
essental
Correct your spelling
essential
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
pubulish
Correct your spelling
publish
the
curfew
hours
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
adovid
Correct your spelling
avoid
the
tragically
Change the adverb
tragic
show examples
event happen. In conclusion,
although
curfew
hours
may
gain
Verb problem
cause
show examples
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
workload
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
and reduce the freedom
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
children
, the
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
of
children
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
important than other things, so I agree with those
suggetion
Correct your spelling
suggestions
suggestion
.
Submitted by huangjiali617 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure your essay addresses all parts of the prompt thoroughly. The current essay presents a clear stance but could include more exploration of differing viewpoints or further implications of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on revising sentences for clarity and fluency. Some sentences were fragmented or lacked clarity, which can interrupt the reader's understanding. Clear and concise sentence structures enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence and coherence. This can help clearly link ideas and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion regarding the implementation of curfew hours for children, supported by relevant arguments about safety and privacy.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction setting the stage and a conclusion that summarizes the author's viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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