At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The issue of demographic
trend
based on age index has garnered significant attention in recent years. In some Fix the agreement mistake
trends
nations
the number of young people is more than the Add a comma
nations,
elder
ones. I think Correct your spelling
older
this
situation does not have a good impact on lots of portions of a country.
To commence with, senilities
have lots of precious experience which can transfer to Replace the word
seniors
the
immature individuals about different subjects Correct article usage
apply
pertain
to Change the form of the verb
pertaining
the
professions, political points and educational Correct article usage
apply
organization
. Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
Although
juniors are important human sources in every land, without the presence of seniors in some positions they cannot do duties
well or make Correct pronoun usage
their duties
a
good Correct article usage
apply
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
about
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, in international scope, if the older experienced politicians do not accompany
the meeting, the younger ones cannot deal with it. So, the existence of the adults, knowledgeable persons is apparently clear.
On the flip side, the being of Verb problem
attend
working
force is crucial in any Correct article usage
a working
nations
, since without them many affairs lie down and the elder ones cannot do them. The mature people can contribute to the development of the territories by helping Fix the agreement mistake
nation
of
the young adults. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, in teaching and learning situations, the need
of Fix the agreement mistake
needs
the
young men and women Correct article usage
apply
is
irrefutable because the aged senior cannot match Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
the new Change preposition
apply
circumstance
. Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
Consequently
, the governments need both seniors and juniors to handle the affair
of the regions.
In conclusion, in light of the above discussion, the equivalence of being both youths and senilities Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
are
indispensable to Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
nations and societies because of some characteristics Correct article usage
apply
that
mentioned earlier.Correct pronoun usage
apply
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task achievement
Try to strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points, particularly when discussing the contributions of young and older people.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for maintaining coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the situation, demonstrating a balanced approach to the task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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